Mercy and I had a friendly little chat with Sister Andrea this morning. This afternoon, Arlette picked us up and we went to see the St. Scholastica play. Tony was there, teasing me as always. Later, we went to Margie’s house so Mercy could try on her dress for tomorrow. It’s a lovely dress and Mercy’s going to look like a dream. Wait till Tony sees her. He’ll forget Betina exists. It was Ana Marie’s birthday today. I feel very low tonight.
September 8 - Saturday
I’ll skip the unnecessary details like lunch at Mercy’s house and later the beauty parlor, etc. and go straight to this evening’s party: Tito Ramon, Tita Lol and Mercy picked my mom and me up and we finally got to the Lebrun residence at around 9 pm. There were already guests there and Mercy was scared stiff to go down and meet and greet them. She looked so lovely tonight - just like a dish of ice cream. (It’s funny I don’t mention the fact the dress I wore to Mercy’s debut was given to me by Tita Carmen Marti. It was Nena’s but never worn. It was a lovely white chiffon dress with hand-painted blue flowers on it and I remember it clearly. It was a truly pretty dress, but I guess I was too embarrassed then to even admit in my diary that I had to use a dress that wasn’t really mine. I’ll never forget Tita Carmen Marti’s generosity but maybe there was an underlying feeling of being pitied or patronized that I couldn’t or wouldn’t admit to myself. ) Everyone we expected to come did and some unexpected people too. The house was lovely and all the grown-ups were in a very gay mood. I had a simply wonderful time. I danced so much I felt my feet were going to fall off. All the girls looked pretty and the boys looked so handsome in their coat and ties or barongs. Carlos came with Ginny Brooks. I won’t pretend I wasn’t disappointed but I just resigned myself and ignored them the whole evening. Not even looking at Carlos took a lot of my will power but I did it! I just beamed at everyone else. I danced with Mitch and two times towards the end of the party I saw him come towards me to ask me to dance but someone else beat him to it. I got into a small fight with Louie Mac because he insisted on holding me too tight (I remember this moment distinctly too!) I almost left him standing by himself on the dance floor. I don’t care what he thinks, he’s such a jerk. Tony is an old tease. He doesn’t usually look that great in a coat and tie but tonight he looked very dashing. He danced with me and what a smooth dancer he is. Another guy who looked even more dashing and tall and handsome tonight was Honey. The best looking guy there, I’d say! Titos Ayesa is quite good looking but a little shy for my taste. (I guess I always liked “the bad boys” best!) Eddie danced with me and was telling me something about Monica...well, I could go on forever. Anyway, it was a very lovely evening and I enjoyed every minute of it. Mercy was happy and I guess that makes me gladdest. I keep seeing Carlos’s face in my thoughts and that little glow goes through me. Tony is really yummy and Mitch is the sweetest - I love the way he orders me around!
Unfortunately, my diary ends here. It ends because I had overwritten in my actual diary and the entries from the end of July till this date were written in a small spiral notebook. I know I continued on another notebook, but through the years, with all my travels and moves, it was lost. I burned my 1960 diary in the backyard of my home on San Marcelino Street with great vengeance and ceremony. I sorely regret this now, but then, I was a tempestuous 16-year old -- angry with Cosme and Margie and hence, the diary burning. I also cannot locate my diary of 1963 but considering my many moves through three continents, I’m amazed I didn’t lose the ones I do have.
That year (1963) marked a lot of milestones in my life. That year, we moved from San Marcelino Street in Malate to Indiana Street in Ermita. I did not continue college, but after two years went to work for an advertising company called “Production Associates” owned by the Ernesto Ramos family. The job also gave me some independence and allowed me to help ease the financial burden on my parents. Nena Marti got married to Manda Elizalde in the Wedding of the Year, which I was to attend with Nacho Marti and, at the end, didn’t, because of a true “wardrobe malfunction.” I finally slipped out of the annoying adolescent thinking mode into a more “adult” (though not really mature) frame of mind. I had the small crack in my front tooth capped which I’m sure gave me a new sense of self confidence. Our then hero, President Kennedy, was assassinated - an event that shook our innocent, idealistic minds to the core. And, I finally was allowed to go on "real" dates and met the tall, good looking young man who would give me my first real kiss. Also, in September 1963, I met the man who I would eventually marry, though not until 1965. I do not know when I finally quit my “addiction” to Carlos Garcia but maybe it was when I finally was allowed to date and realized how silly and futile my 2 year obsession was.
Now, lastly, I will share my 1964 diary with you, which I wrote in a vastly condensed form - with almost no explicit detail, as opposed to the way I wrote these past diaries, which may be a relief to those who have read the 1961 and 1962 years.
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Please remember that all I wrote herein, I never expected anyone else to read. They are the thoughts of a convent-bred teenager, raised in the junction of a society and culture formed by Asia, Spain and the United States - that in itself - was unique.
Hopefully, you all can re-live the memories of the irony, humor, disasters and joy we all shared in our adolescent years in a Manila we loved.
