August 21 - 28, 1962

August 21 - Tuesday


This has been a very blue Tuesday as I knew it would be. Sr. Andrea got angry because Mercy and I skipped Typing class. This afternoon we went to the ANC - and Mitch, George, Honey, Mari, Caloy, Luli, Jan, Arlette, Monica, Mercy and I got together in the Teen Den. George is such a nut but a nice nut. Rafa came in for a few minutes but left later with Pichuco.



August 22 - Wednesday

Same old, same old. Mercy made me laugh so much over the phone. She truly cracks me up. I spoke to Pichuco too.





August 23 - Thursday

Everything went wrong today. I left Jan’s radio in the taxi and I forgot my pen in school. I’m so distressed over the radio. I can’t pay for it so I don’t know what I’m going to do! (Another very distinct memory has come flashing back.. I clearly remember forgetting the radio in the taxi and how mortified I was at the time.) Then Mom isn’t too happy about having a gathering here at home on Saturday. We’d like to have one for Lita’s birthday but we have no other place to have it at. Everything seems to be going wrong.



August 24 - Friday

My mother is really a nervous wreck so I had to fight to have the beatnik party here. My house isn’t exactly the Taj-Mahal but if someone doesn’t like it or its below their dignity to come, then they can stay home. I’m dreading tomorrow because she’s going to make me so nervous that the party will turn out a big flop. I got the lead in one of the three Paulinian Player Guild plays which Ana Marie Gonzalez is directing. It’s a cute part and I’ll enjoy playing a very devilish nun. Arno and Mitch were at the ANC when we got there. I was supposed to go to a movie with Luli, Rafa, Carlos O., Arno and Jan but of course, Mom didn’t let me.



August 25 - Saturday

I am so happy this minute that I’ll even ignore my mother’s getting annoyed with me for taking her pajamas without asking her. I went to the ANC this morning with Mercy. Everyone was there today. Arlette and Monica’s mother died today and so they couldn’t go to the party this evening. Mercy and I spent a busy afternoon fixing the house. Linda Hinkley came and everyone else came who I invited - which means Carlos came too - hence, that is why I am so happy. He was so sweet and wonderful in little ways, you know, like handing me my handkerchief when I left it on the chair and maybe its because I’m so crazy about him that ANYTHING he does I think is wonderful. But the best part of all is that for the first time ever - he danced with me!!!!! At first I didn’t even realize it was him asking me until I stood up and took his hand and looked at who had asked me to dance. (Of course, I’ve never forgotten this evening. It’s so clear, it could’ve happened yesterday and I could write down every second of this dance without looking at my diary. I remember what I wore and now know that I was still living on San Marcelino Street because I even remember how Mercy and I fixed up my living room with pillows on the floor and scarves over the lamps to make it more what we imagined to be “beatnik-like.”) He danced so smoothly and I was so scared that I would tremble or something or that he could hear my heart beating but I think my heart literally stopped. I couldn’t even feel myself breathe. I was so terrified I would do something like trip and fall. I looked at Mercy once while dancing and she was grinning at me from ear to ear. We danced to “A Summer Place” (And for the rest of my life, that song was The Song I Danced A Slow Drag To With Carlos Garcia. I know that night I was as near to heaven as a girl could be and all it took was a dance with Carlos.) and even if Carlos never dances with me again I’ll always re-live those wonderful minutes, that night, that song and my friends who all were happy for me because I was happy. I danced with every person I like tonight - I danced with Honey (Oh my gosh, I had forgotten that too. I actually danced with Honey! That should’ve been even a bigger deal than dancing with Carlos.) And I danced with George Gallent (also a first time) but was interrupted by Mari Valles. I danced with Mitch, Arno, and Tony. And all slows! (In retrospect, since I remember what I wore, that all these guys who were the “hunks” then had asked me to dance that night must have been because in today’s parlance, I must’ve looked “hot.” Maybe it was my “beatnik” attire of black tights, a dark green sweater (my dad’s) tied loosely with a chain belt, a bit more eye make-up, and my hair pulled back with a long false pony tail. Or maybe it was just the night for my wishes to be granted but it was a great evening.) It was a grand, wonderful evening. I can’t wait to talk to my better half Mercy tomorrow, to relive this evening all over again.



August 26 - Sunday

I dreamt of Glen Ford last night?! I went to Mass at 11 with Mercy then Tito Ramon, Tita Lol, Tito Eugenio, Mom, Mercy and I went to the Funeraria National for the service for Mrs. Teucher. Later we went to the ANC and had lunch there. Luli, Mercy and I went to see “Jack the Giant Killer” at the Rizal. Rafa, Nacho and Ramon sat with us. Funny, I could feel Carlos somewhere in the movie theater but didn’t see him but I did see him outside in his car. We went to the ANC and there Arno was there. Luz and Jan went to the movies with George, Butch and Honey. Arno, Mercy and I went to Arlette and Monica’s house to visit them. Monica likes Eddie. We went to the Malate Church for a while and Pocholo and Carmen brought us home. Every time I think of Carlos last night I can’t believe it happened. It seems like it was just one of my fantastic day dreams. It’ll probably be one of those first and last time things but worth all the stardust in the heavens. Mercy is also on a pink cloud over Tony Ortigas.



August 27 - Monday

It has been a hot, hot day and how I long for the coolness of Baguio and its pine-scented air. Mercy knows about her “surprise” party. And I hope my play - “God’s Little Sunbeam” is on the 9th and the 8th of September. I have to be one of the hostess for the party and Mercy wants me to be with her. I hope Ana Marie changes her mind. Mercy is like a sister to me. We tell each other everything and have shared a lot. We really do breath the same air though she can make me so mad at times, I love her to pieces - more than any other of my girl friends. Morris called this evening and I’m afraid bored him with my conversation. My mother and I can’t seem to discuss anything any more.(And, herein follows yet another my-mother-doesn’t-get-me entry which I am not including.) Dad maybe does “get” me a little but he’s so busy with his television programs and the Asian Games these days that I hardly ever see him. He works so hard and then these darned companies don’t pay him on time. He comes home tired and too beat to do anything but sleep. Sometimes he doesn’t even get a decent meal because his work takes up too much of his time. As for me, I hate Accounting and Steno and Dramatics is a bust because Mr. Lane (he took over after Miss Martinez left) is bound to call on me and I haven’t prepared anything. I haven’t got the excuse slip for Mr. Cruz and Sister Andrea will have my scalp. The good side is that I found my pearl earrings that I had lost (Thank you St. Anthony) but can’t find my book of Etiquette and Accounting. In my head - nothing but bubbles. Hopeless! But of course, I have time to think about Carlos. (Was I really this much of twerp? And here I go on and on about Carlos and recall Cookie’s party last year, etc., etc. Boring, so I am omitting again.)



August 28 - Tuesday

I went to the ANC this afternoon. Mari, George and Mitch were there. I sat with them and had a pleasant time laughing and talking. Charlie was also there with Gordo. Later, Lita, Luli, Jan, Rafa and Pichuco arrived. Mari was quite civil this afternoon. I hardly exchanged three civil words with him. Jan is nuts over George. Mercy spent this time with Arlette and Monica. Tomorrow is Lita’s birthday. I seem to be arguing more and more with my mother these days. Nothing I do or say pleases her and she’s finding fault with everything I do. The only thing that keeps me going is the thought of Carlos. I tune out my mom and think of him and I then I couldn’t care less who is shouting at me.