I received a sweet email valentine from an old love a few days ago and though in email and short, it was sweet - and since none of you who read this know who he is - I will quote from part of it - to share -
"Happy Valentine's Day Love. It doesn't seem possible that this will be the sixth one since our flight. Thoughts of you give (me) as many goosebumps as they did V day '05. Maybe more. I think memories of a relationship grow with the years as the mind gradually erases any flaws in the relationship and constantly homes in and magnifies what was, and still is, wonderful about it. Stay warm love."
The above sure made my day as any woman, or guy, reading it can appreciate.
And speaking of loves - and in my case, a love lost, I wrote this poem truly spontaneously one summer morning about two years ago. I woke up from dreaming about this particular person and the first lines of the poem were literally already in my head. I had to go to the office but as soon as I got to my desk, I took out a notebook and started writing and in about 45 minutes it was done - just as you see it below. The power of love or love lost is strong indeed. Probably this all came about as "closure" (I truly hate the word but I can't think of a better one for now), when this man finally placed a period to the long relationship we'd had since I first met him in 1969. The why, how and where is not important because its done with but this poem lingers as a testament to what it was and how I felt. Those close friends who I sent it to and to others who knew nothing about my life or didn't know that I had written it, where skeptical that I had actually written it, though impressed. Because I wanted to preserve the integrity of this poem and the emotion that conceived it, I had it copyrighted and received my official copyright # from the US copyright office about 6 months later.
Well, here it is. An old friend of mine who passed away not long ago (God bless him), thought it a little raunchy but that's a guy for you and the only man who read it. The women all understood.
Antonym
I hate you.
I hate you because you come to me
In my dreams
And take over the night
I hate you because you waken memories
Long dormant
And take over my day
I hate you because I taste your mouth,
Your skin, your maleness,
And it’s only a memory
I hate you because you always walk away from me
In my dreams, in my life
I hate you because all others diminish in comparison
And they are nobler than you
I hate you because our past obscures the present
And denies the future
I hate you because there is no present
There is no future
I hate you because I look for you
When I know I will not find you
I hate you because you once were mine
I hate you because you now belong to another
I hate you because you were only on loan to me by Fate
I hate you because we breathed the same air
I hate you because we don’t breathe the same air
I hate you because our bodies joined lifted me
To heights unknown to mortals
I hate you because I knew your body
Better than mine
I hate you because you completed me
I hate you because now no one does
I hate you because we connected without words
I hate you because we now cannot connect at all
I hate you because I will not watch you grow old
I hate you because I only remember our youth
I hate you because you took the best of me
I hate you because I didn’t take the best of you
I hate you because you never heard my silent song to you
I hate you because I never realized yours to me
I hate you because I cannot,
No matter how much I try,
Learn to hate you.
Lea Bowie
Summer 2008
And this is the person I wrote this poem about. The photo was taken in the summer of 1974.
