February 23 - March 3, 1962

February 23 - Friday


I didn’t go to school today. I didn’t to face that test in Physics - anyway I prayed it would be canceled and it was - for Monday. Margotin called me up tonight and said that good old Sr. Angela gave them a sermon about the graduation ball. I went to the Sans’ residence for the party. I spent the whole evening with Kathy and Beli. Nacho was there and the party was a lot of fun. The kids were all between 13 - 16 so I felt a bit out of place but Beli is a doll and so is Kathy. I HATE SCHOOL!!



February 24 - Saturday

This morning I went to school but left at 10:30. I couldn’t stand to see Sr. Angela’s face. I went to the ANC later. (Gosh, I was such a brat!) There was the dreamiest guy named Bob Franklin with the most fantastic blue eyes. He was in the Teen Den and for a while Conch, Lita, Luli and I couldn’t see straight. Nacho was with us and Ramon Faustman. The girls and I ate lunch in the dining room. This afternoon, the Sarthou brothers, the girls and I played “Charades.” We had so much fun and a lot of laughs. I was right about ending up with no one to take to the prom. Magu told me that Spik can’t go. That makes 2 down (he and Carlos) and one to go - Arno and as I see it, my hope for him is very slim. I knew it all along. Funny how my premonitions come true......



February 25 - Sunday

Funny how you suddenly come to realize you care for someone very much. This realization but me when I came to the table where Arno, Luli and Lita were sitting (at the ANC). Anyway, as I sat down and looked at Arno I thought that here was the one boy I liked much more than all the others including Spik and Carlos. We just talked casually, yet, when we look at each other, I feel an unknown message pass between us. We didn’t talk about the prom. Somehow I couldn’t bring myself to talk about it. We’d just end up saying the same things. He’s still hooked to Beli and that leaves me exactly where I started - with no one to take to the prom.



February 26 - Monday

It seems I get more restless in school every day. My stomach is acting up again and I feel sort of woozy and my tongue looks and feels like a piece of green sand paper. I feel so useless and more I feel I want to do something useful for mankind. I’m sick of the gaudy, artificiality around the place. It seems like I’m in a hot, dry, place and what I need is a breathe of fresh air but that hasn’t come along yet.



February 27 - Tuesday

This afternoon I found the “breathe of fresh air” I was looking for. After school I didn’t go home right away but I had a little with Ruby who is so sweet and good, she’s like a breathe of spring herself. (I cannot believe I actually wrote this!) Then as I was walking by the US Peace Corps building I heard someone call me and it was Moises. He was talking to a tall, good looking young man. I went over to him and got introduced to him - his name was Brian Johnston. He’s a member of the Peace Corps and he’s working down in a poor barrio of M???... with the poor children, teaching and helping them. He comes from a well to do family in the States and he studied at Harvard. He was earning more than $600.00 in the US but he felt he was not doing anything for the benefit of mankind. He then decided to join the Peace Corps. He’s intelligent and believes in helping the poor, wretched people of the barrios when he could be an executive with his own company.



February 28 - Wednesday

I have my school books up to my neck. All we have are exams and tests and study, study, study. The only thing I don’t mind is pouring over History, but the rest....We got the invitations to our Graduation Ball to give out - they look so nice but who do I give mine to?? I have a feeling Beli’s party will decide that once and for all. These blankety blank pimples are really bugging me. We have tests in History, Literature and Physics tomorrow. Not a day passes that some teacher scolds us. We are frightfully unruly and since all of us are very high strung, trying to control us will require an act of God. Poor ruby, she is president of the class and she probably wishes she were president of an insane asylum instead. When we are all going at once its pandemonium. Sigh, just 2 weeks and I’ll be through with High School. (And what I wouldn’t give to be back there again!).



March 1 - Thursday

Same old routine in school. Nothing new happens, only study, study, study. I’m so fed up with school I think I’ll scream if I see another notebook, textbook or outline. We distract ourselves by talking about the Graduation Ball, Warren Beatty or Dick Chamberlain (Dr. Kildare!), not forgetting the inevitable and occasional mention of Carlos, Arno or the other guys....



March 2 - Friday

Mrs. Buencamino was very pleased with our exams in Physics since we all did very well and passed including whiz me. I saw Juaco Campbell in his car this morning when I was crossing Herran. As usual, he had his usual grin on his face. Everyone, well, Agnes, Tere and I were drooling over Dick Chamberlain and Dr. Kildare last night on TV. I talked to Mercy over the phone this evening. She’s worried about her Physics exam tomorrow. She has to pass, or else. She also told me that she sees Carlos almost every day after school. Lucky her. Tomorrow is Beli’s party. All the people I know will be here and tomorrow I will find out who is taking me to the ball or not. If not, I’m staying home on the 17th. Mom and I bought the material for the dress today and it’s the sweetest, loveliest thing you ever saw. All white and shimmering and soft as air.



March 3 - Saturday

I don’t know quite how to begin this entry tonight.(And I remember this party like it was yesterday - Didn’t I say so a little while back?!) I’ve just come from Beli’s party and my heart has just turned and locked up. For the last month I’ve been trying not to think of Carlos and Arno and I almost succeeded - almost. I went to the party tonight, light hearted and gay yet with a certain feeling of apprehension and doom. Carlos was there with Bobbi and the moment I saw him I knew I couldn’t deny how I feel about him. He looked tall and handsome, with that great grin and he sat with his arm around Bobbie, laughing and singing and when he danced with her, he held her tightly and I could feel the lump in my throat growing and my eyes getting annoyingly teary. If Leo hadn’t been there cracking his jokes I would’ve broken up right there. (I never thought I’d say that I was happy that Leo was anywhere near me - this I DIDN’T remember!) He, Carlos, has a way of looking down into the eyes of the girl he is dancing with and holding her hand that makes the girl feel like she’s the only one in the room (that’s how I imagine it, anyway.). And then Arno was dancing with Cookie, Ginny and Beli - and he dances so well with such great rhythm but he danced only once with me. So, they tell me that Carlos is going to the States or Spain pretty soon and as the song goes “There goes my heart...and here am I...” I do hope he leaves and I never see him again so I can forget he exists. And bottom line, I have no date for my graduation prom and the only person I really want to go with me is Carlos and since Fate is not in my corner I might as well forget it. My dress will have to be saved for a better occasion.