September 7 - 8, 1962

September 7 - Friday


Mercy and I had a friendly little chat with Sister Andrea this morning. This afternoon, Arlette picked us up and we went to see the St. Scholastica play. Tony was there, teasing me as always. Later, we went to Margie’s house so Mercy could try on her dress for tomorrow. It’s a lovely dress and Mercy’s going to look like a dream. Wait till Tony sees her. He’ll forget Betina exists. It was Ana Marie’s birthday today. I feel very low tonight.



September 8 - Saturday

I’ll skip the unnecessary details like lunch at Mercy’s house and later the beauty parlor, etc. and go straight to this evening’s party: Tito Ramon, Tita Lol and Mercy picked my mom and me up and we finally got to the Lebrun residence at around 9 pm. There were already guests there and Mercy was scared stiff to go down and meet and greet them. She looked so lovely tonight - just like a dish of ice cream. (It’s funny I don’t mention the fact the dress I wore to Mercy’s debut was given to me by Tita Carmen Marti. It was Nena’s but never worn. It was a lovely white chiffon dress with hand-painted blue flowers on it and I remember it clearly. It was a truly pretty dress, but I guess I was too embarrassed then to even admit in my diary that I had to use a dress that wasn’t really mine. I’ll never forget Tita Carmen Marti’s generosity but maybe there was an underlying feeling of being pitied or patronized that I couldn’t or wouldn’t admit to myself. ) Everyone we expected to come did and some unexpected people too. The house was lovely and all the grown-ups were in a very gay mood. I had a simply wonderful time. I danced so much I felt my feet were going to fall off. All the girls looked pretty and the boys looked so handsome in their coat and ties or barongs. Carlos came with Ginny Brooks. I won’t pretend I wasn’t disappointed but I just resigned myself and ignored them the whole evening. Not even looking at Carlos took a lot of my will power but I did it! I just beamed at everyone else. I danced with Mitch and two times towards the end of the party I saw him come towards me to ask me to dance but someone else beat him to it. I got into a small fight with Louie Mac because he insisted on holding me too tight (I remember this moment distinctly too!) I almost left him standing by himself on the dance floor. I don’t care what he thinks, he’s such a jerk. Tony is an old tease. He doesn’t usually look that great in a coat and tie but tonight he looked very dashing. He danced with me and what a smooth dancer he is. Another guy who looked even more dashing and tall and handsome tonight was Honey. The best looking guy there, I’d say! Titos Ayesa is quite good looking but a little shy for my taste. (I guess I always liked “the bad boys” best!) Eddie danced with me and was telling me something about Monica...well, I could go on forever. Anyway, it was a very lovely evening and I enjoyed every minute of it. Mercy was happy and I guess that makes me gladdest. I keep seeing Carlos’s face in my thoughts and that little glow goes through me. Tony is really yummy and Mitch is the sweetest - I love the way he orders me around!


Unfortunately, my diary ends here. It ends because I had overwritten in my actual diary and the entries from the end of July till this date were written in a small spiral notebook. I know I continued on another notebook, but through the years, with all my travels and moves, it was lost. I burned my 1960 diary in the backyard of my home on San Marcelino Street with great vengeance and ceremony. I sorely regret this now, but then, I was a tempestuous 16-year old -- angry with Cosme and Margie and hence, the diary burning. I also cannot locate my diary of 1963 but considering my many moves through three continents, I’m amazed I didn’t lose the ones I do have. 

That year (1963) marked a lot of milestones in my life. That year, we moved from San Marcelino Street in Malate to Indiana Street in Ermita. I did not continue college, but after two years went to work for an advertising company called “Production Associates” owned by the Ernesto Ramos family. The job also gave me some independence and allowed me to help ease the financial burden on my parents. Nena Marti got married to Manda Elizalde in the Wedding of the Year, which I was to attend with Nacho Marti and, at the end, didn’t, because of a true “wardrobe malfunction.” I finally slipped out of the annoying adolescent thinking mode into a more “adult” (though not really mature) frame of mind. I had the small crack in my front tooth capped which I’m sure gave me a new sense of self confidence. Our then hero, President Kennedy, was assassinated - an event that shook our innocent, idealistic minds to the core. And, I finally was allowed to go on "real" dates and met the tall, good looking young man who would give me my first real kiss. Also, in September 1963, I met the man who I would eventually marry, though not until 1965. I do not know when I finally quit my “addiction” to Carlos Garcia but maybe it was when I finally was allowed to date and realized how silly and futile my 2 year obsession was.



Now, lastly, I will share my 1964 diary with you, which I wrote in a vastly condensed form - with almost no explicit detail, as opposed to the way I wrote these past diaries, which may be a relief to those who have read the 1961 and 1962 years.

-0-0-

I have shared these little diaries with my close friends, who are featured here, only to bring back a little slice of our lives in Manila in the early 60s. I have been in turn - silly, corny, crazy, sentimental, stupid, naive, and yes, boring. But, truthful to what my entries and feelings were those many years ago. If any of you have your own memories of any of the events I relate here and want to add to, correct, or criticize, please feel free to do so. I can’t wait!



Please remember that all I wrote herein, I never expected anyone else to read. They are the thoughts of a convent-bred teenager, raised in the junction of a society and culture formed by Asia, Spain and the United States - that in itself - was unique.



Hopefully, you all can re-live the memories of the irony, humor, disasters and joy we all shared in our adolescent years in a Manila we loved.

August 29 - September 6, 1962

August 29 - Wednesday


What a miserable day. Tita Lol and Mommy got the letters from Sister Andrea telling them about Mercy and I being absent 3 times from Typing class and the way my mother reacted you’d think I had gone and eloped. As if she never played hooky in her life. She thinks we skipped classes to go to the ANC but we didn’t. We just stayed here at home or at Mercy’s house. Anyway, she probably won’t let me go to Yan’s party on Saturday because Tita Lol won’t let Mercy go. Not letting me go to the ANC is bad enough but at least on weekends let me breath! (What a spoiled brat I was!)



August 30 - Thursday

Nothing worth writing about happened today. I talked with Mercy hours over the phone and also with Linda H. I listened to records all afternoon. Had dinner by myself and am now in bed at quarter to 10. Mercy does nothing but talk about Tony and all I can think of is Carlos...we are hopeless...



August 31 - Friday

Same old routine in school. At least , Monday, Wednesday and Friday are better than Tuesday and Thursday and Saturday with that awful Mr. Lane. Mr. Cruz (not so bad but ugh, Steno) and the subject I really honestly can’t stand - Accounting!



September 1 - Saturday

What a nice day. This evening we had the party for Yan at their lovely new home in Urdaneta Village. Mercy and I got the surprise of our lives when Tony and Freddie arrived. It was a very nice evening mainly because of George, Mari, Mitch and Tony. Tony and Freddie sat with Mercy and I the whole evening. Freddie kept teasing us but you simply cannot get mad at him because they are so charming. Mari was clowning around as usual and he and George just sent us into hysterics. Tony seems to be getting more interested in Mercy but Betina is still in the picture. I danced 3 boogies and one slow with him. I danced 4 times with Mari and several times with Mitch, Butch, Yan, Rafa, Pichuco and Javi. Mari interrupted my dance with George again and it seems I’ll never get to finish a dance with him. George brought Mercy, Honey and I home. I kept wishing that Carlos had been there.



September 2 - Sunday

Mom, Mercy and I went to Mass at San Pancracio at 11. Then we changed into pants and went to the ANC. The usual people were there. We ate lunch there and then Jan, Mercy and I went to the Rizal to see “Experiment in Terror” with Glen Ford and Lee Remick. Luz and Luli went with Rafa and Nacho. When Mercy and I came out to go to the Ladies Room, I saw Carlos by the doors and I melted all the way again. Later he drove up in his car to pick up Tita Marina. I told Eddie and Freddie to go to Arlette’s house. Mercy and I, George, Honey, Mitch, Arno, Lita, Luli and Jan arrived half an hour later and 15 minutes after that, Juaco, Carlos, Eddie, Freddie, and Lita Paraiso walk through the door. I can’t deny I like Carlos to distraction but neither can I deny that he doesn’t give a hoot about me. (I was such a masochist but weren’t or aren’t all teenage girls?!) Anyway, Carlos gave me one of his I-know-you’re-nuts-about-me looks and I just felt like leaving the room. Arno was acting a bit strange and Eddie and I talked about Monica and threw pillows at each other.



September 3 - Monday

Oh what a day. There’s a blooming typhoon coming and that’s all we need for Mercy’s party on Saturday. And Sister Andrea has the hardest head! We were late for Spanish class because Father Trent and Mother Socorro were talking to Mercy, Betsy and I but she and Miss Zacarias wouldn’t hear our excuse. This evening Eddie called up and we talked a long time about Monica. He wants to see her tomorrow and its all so mixed up. I so enjoy talking to him. Luli called up asking me about the Teucher’s broken phone too and Mercy called up as well. I’ve been memorizing “The Unknown Soldier Speaks” for Dramatics class tomorrow and I’ve gotten it down pretty well. I am also brushing up on my Steno because I’m a little apprehensive about the test tomorrow. Oh, I hope Tony and Mercy hook up - what a perfect couple! I want to talk to Daddy about school but with these Asian Games going on, I hardly see him. Mom, as usual, was harping at me again today. I wonder what I’m going to wear for Mercy’s party. It’s four days from now and I have nothing to wear - really. And, its raining buckets!



September 4 - Tuesday

I had lunch at Mercy’s house. Mr. Lane gave us our exam in Dramatics and was I glad I memorized the “The Unknown Soldier...” Mr. Cruz was in the best of spirits this morning. I can’t stand Sister Felix and her darned Accounting class. I wonder what I’ll put down on my paper for Theology tomorrow and there’s that awful P.E. Monica, Mercy and Arlette called me tonight. Monica was all excited because she had a charming little chat with Carlos this afternoon leaving Eddie (poor guy) pretty much baffled. Arlette complained about not knowing who to like or fall for??? And Mercy is all wrapped up with Tony. I spoke to Mitch this afternoon at the ANC. The maid said Eddie called up home at around 6. A typhoon signal is up but no air-condition since the unit is broken in Mom’s room and it is so hot!!



September 5 - Wednesday

Exam in Theology a sweat and exam in Spanish a whizz through. Mercy and I almost got stranded in school because of the rain this noon. We had lunch at Mercy’s house. Since the streets were flooded we had to stay there. I carried and played with Marilu (Pocholo’s baby) who is the most sociable little baby. Honey looked specially handsome this afternoon and he was in a lovely mood, too. Later, while we were in Honey’s room typing, Mitch and George came to pick him up. Those guys are super and so much fun to be with. They went out in Mitch’s car and later Honey and George came back. George kept teasing and fooling around. I started to type Mitch’s name on the typewriter and Carlos’s too. Then Mitch and George came back and I hurriedly tried to close the typewriter but Mercy made matters worse by asking me why I was in such a hurry and Mitch walked right behind me and after prodding by Emil saw that I had typed his name and Mercy said his face changed. (Another moment in time that I remember distinctly - this typewriter episode with Mitch at Mercy’s house.) George later started teasing Mercy and I. Later on, Mercy, Honey and I had a chat. As I’ve said a million times before, Honey’s the guy I respect the most. I like everything about him and the girl that he marries will get a gold mine! (Ah, Lynnie, who knew, huh?) If Mercy should move away from here I’d lose the best friend I have. I really love that girl. (Ah, Mercy, who knew I’d be the one moving away - from San Marcelino to Indiana Street and then later away from Manila altogether. I still love this girl.) She’s a headache at times but still my very best friend.



September 6 - Thursday

I had lunch at Mercy’s again. I love eating there. I like Tito Ramon, Tita Lol, Tito Eugenio, Pocholo, Carmen (no comment), Honey, Mercy and Emil. (I guess I crossed out poor Chicky and Albert in my mind then.) Mercy’s party is going to be in the Club Filipino. Mom made me go home at 2 pm. I went to Arlette and Monica’s house and Eddie, Juaco, Freddie, Butch and Mari were there. We sat and talked. Mari and Butch gave a hilarious imitation of a girl and boy at a movie. They later left and the rest of us played “One, Two, Three - Pass” Juaco likes Arlette next to Barbara. Eddie likes Monica and vice-versa. And Freddie is still hopelessly in love with Arlette. Eddie is such a nice guy - serious yet so funny at the same time. Monica confuses him a lot. Anyway, my mother got all riled up because we were at the house with the boys and what will people think - here perennial cry. But at least Arlette and Monica can talk to Tita Marianne about boys, and Mercy to Tita Lol and Margie to Tita Pacita. But me? Forget it!

August 21 - 28, 1962

August 21 - Tuesday


This has been a very blue Tuesday as I knew it would be. Sr. Andrea got angry because Mercy and I skipped Typing class. This afternoon we went to the ANC - and Mitch, George, Honey, Mari, Caloy, Luli, Jan, Arlette, Monica, Mercy and I got together in the Teen Den. George is such a nut but a nice nut. Rafa came in for a few minutes but left later with Pichuco.



August 22 - Wednesday

Same old, same old. Mercy made me laugh so much over the phone. She truly cracks me up. I spoke to Pichuco too.





August 23 - Thursday

Everything went wrong today. I left Jan’s radio in the taxi and I forgot my pen in school. I’m so distressed over the radio. I can’t pay for it so I don’t know what I’m going to do! (Another very distinct memory has come flashing back.. I clearly remember forgetting the radio in the taxi and how mortified I was at the time.) Then Mom isn’t too happy about having a gathering here at home on Saturday. We’d like to have one for Lita’s birthday but we have no other place to have it at. Everything seems to be going wrong.



August 24 - Friday

My mother is really a nervous wreck so I had to fight to have the beatnik party here. My house isn’t exactly the Taj-Mahal but if someone doesn’t like it or its below their dignity to come, then they can stay home. I’m dreading tomorrow because she’s going to make me so nervous that the party will turn out a big flop. I got the lead in one of the three Paulinian Player Guild plays which Ana Marie Gonzalez is directing. It’s a cute part and I’ll enjoy playing a very devilish nun. Arno and Mitch were at the ANC when we got there. I was supposed to go to a movie with Luli, Rafa, Carlos O., Arno and Jan but of course, Mom didn’t let me.



August 25 - Saturday

I am so happy this minute that I’ll even ignore my mother’s getting annoyed with me for taking her pajamas without asking her. I went to the ANC this morning with Mercy. Everyone was there today. Arlette and Monica’s mother died today and so they couldn’t go to the party this evening. Mercy and I spent a busy afternoon fixing the house. Linda Hinkley came and everyone else came who I invited - which means Carlos came too - hence, that is why I am so happy. He was so sweet and wonderful in little ways, you know, like handing me my handkerchief when I left it on the chair and maybe its because I’m so crazy about him that ANYTHING he does I think is wonderful. But the best part of all is that for the first time ever - he danced with me!!!!! At first I didn’t even realize it was him asking me until I stood up and took his hand and looked at who had asked me to dance. (Of course, I’ve never forgotten this evening. It’s so clear, it could’ve happened yesterday and I could write down every second of this dance without looking at my diary. I remember what I wore and now know that I was still living on San Marcelino Street because I even remember how Mercy and I fixed up my living room with pillows on the floor and scarves over the lamps to make it more what we imagined to be “beatnik-like.”) He danced so smoothly and I was so scared that I would tremble or something or that he could hear my heart beating but I think my heart literally stopped. I couldn’t even feel myself breathe. I was so terrified I would do something like trip and fall. I looked at Mercy once while dancing and she was grinning at me from ear to ear. We danced to “A Summer Place” (And for the rest of my life, that song was The Song I Danced A Slow Drag To With Carlos Garcia. I know that night I was as near to heaven as a girl could be and all it took was a dance with Carlos.) and even if Carlos never dances with me again I’ll always re-live those wonderful minutes, that night, that song and my friends who all were happy for me because I was happy. I danced with every person I like tonight - I danced with Honey (Oh my gosh, I had forgotten that too. I actually danced with Honey! That should’ve been even a bigger deal than dancing with Carlos.) And I danced with George Gallent (also a first time) but was interrupted by Mari Valles. I danced with Mitch, Arno, and Tony. And all slows! (In retrospect, since I remember what I wore, that all these guys who were the “hunks” then had asked me to dance that night must have been because in today’s parlance, I must’ve looked “hot.” Maybe it was my “beatnik” attire of black tights, a dark green sweater (my dad’s) tied loosely with a chain belt, a bit more eye make-up, and my hair pulled back with a long false pony tail. Or maybe it was just the night for my wishes to be granted but it was a great evening.) It was a grand, wonderful evening. I can’t wait to talk to my better half Mercy tomorrow, to relive this evening all over again.



August 26 - Sunday

I dreamt of Glen Ford last night?! I went to Mass at 11 with Mercy then Tito Ramon, Tita Lol, Tito Eugenio, Mom, Mercy and I went to the Funeraria National for the service for Mrs. Teucher. Later we went to the ANC and had lunch there. Luli, Mercy and I went to see “Jack the Giant Killer” at the Rizal. Rafa, Nacho and Ramon sat with us. Funny, I could feel Carlos somewhere in the movie theater but didn’t see him but I did see him outside in his car. We went to the ANC and there Arno was there. Luz and Jan went to the movies with George, Butch and Honey. Arno, Mercy and I went to Arlette and Monica’s house to visit them. Monica likes Eddie. We went to the Malate Church for a while and Pocholo and Carmen brought us home. Every time I think of Carlos last night I can’t believe it happened. It seems like it was just one of my fantastic day dreams. It’ll probably be one of those first and last time things but worth all the stardust in the heavens. Mercy is also on a pink cloud over Tony Ortigas.



August 27 - Monday

It has been a hot, hot day and how I long for the coolness of Baguio and its pine-scented air. Mercy knows about her “surprise” party. And I hope my play - “God’s Little Sunbeam” is on the 9th and the 8th of September. I have to be one of the hostess for the party and Mercy wants me to be with her. I hope Ana Marie changes her mind. Mercy is like a sister to me. We tell each other everything and have shared a lot. We really do breath the same air though she can make me so mad at times, I love her to pieces - more than any other of my girl friends. Morris called this evening and I’m afraid bored him with my conversation. My mother and I can’t seem to discuss anything any more.(And, herein follows yet another my-mother-doesn’t-get-me entry which I am not including.) Dad maybe does “get” me a little but he’s so busy with his television programs and the Asian Games these days that I hardly ever see him. He works so hard and then these darned companies don’t pay him on time. He comes home tired and too beat to do anything but sleep. Sometimes he doesn’t even get a decent meal because his work takes up too much of his time. As for me, I hate Accounting and Steno and Dramatics is a bust because Mr. Lane (he took over after Miss Martinez left) is bound to call on me and I haven’t prepared anything. I haven’t got the excuse slip for Mr. Cruz and Sister Andrea will have my scalp. The good side is that I found my pearl earrings that I had lost (Thank you St. Anthony) but can’t find my book of Etiquette and Accounting. In my head - nothing but bubbles. Hopeless! But of course, I have time to think about Carlos. (Was I really this much of twerp? And here I go on and on about Carlos and recall Cookie’s party last year, etc., etc. Boring, so I am omitting again.)



August 28 - Tuesday

I went to the ANC this afternoon. Mari, George and Mitch were there. I sat with them and had a pleasant time laughing and talking. Charlie was also there with Gordo. Later, Lita, Luli, Jan, Rafa and Pichuco arrived. Mari was quite civil this afternoon. I hardly exchanged three civil words with him. Jan is nuts over George. Mercy spent this time with Arlette and Monica. Tomorrow is Lita’s birthday. I seem to be arguing more and more with my mother these days. Nothing I do or say pleases her and she’s finding fault with everything I do. The only thing that keeps me going is the thought of Carlos. I tune out my mom and think of him and I then I couldn’t care less who is shouting at me.

August 12 - 20, 1962

August 12 - Sunday


I have made two resolutions for my retreat - First, to be more obedient to my mother and to not insult anybody. I have to keep myself from gossiping (Maybe I should’ve resolved to stop breathing while I was at it!) I went to Communion today. Fr. Reuter said Mass. I have so many things to rearrange and change in my character, I don’t know where to start. Mercy called up tonight as well as Pichuco. It seems there’s going to be a gathering at Arlette and Monica’s house on Tuesday. I wonder how Rafa found the party at Jan’s house but I can’t think of a soul who’d tell me.



August 13 - Monday

We keep talking during the retreat but everything Father has been telling us is sinking in. I went to confession today. Since I’ve been home this afternoon, people have been calling up on the phone - Arlette, Agnes, Pichuco, Mercy and Marina - all conversation about the gathering tomorrow and whether its still on. Arlette called Carlos and he says he’s going. I’ll die!



August 14 - Tuesday

I ended the best Retreat of my life today. I feel wonderful and at peace. Fr. John’s words really got through my thick skull and better still, my fickle heart. I will promise to do better. The gathering at Arlette and Monica’s house was ok. Neither Tony nor Carlos went but it didn’t bother me too much.



August 15 - Wednesday

We went to Mass and Communion this morning and received the final Papal blessing from Father Reuter although we also got it from Father Pellicer yesterday. We came home and changed and then we went to the ANC. The first person I see when I got there is Charlie Armstrong. He gave me a wink and a smile and a hello and I was so glad I wore that white skirt and green blouse. This afternoon , Lit, Luli, Nacho, Kathy, Rafa and Carlos G.G. decided to go to the Rizal but found it closed. We walked all around SLV and I nearly died in the process. I was in high heels and my feet nearly killed me. Nacho and Kathy were kind enough to wait for me. Carlos and Rafa wanted to carry me but I would have been mortified had anyone seen us. We finally got back to the ANC. Mitch was playing tennis. Mercy got back with Arlette and Monica and Yan and it seems they ran into Morris. Later they made Mitch mad by taking his car keys. Lita brought us home.



August 16 - Thursday

I skipped Steno this morning. I went to the ANC this afternoon. I spent the afternoon talking with Mitch by the pool, mostly about Nadia. Arlette, Monica, Jan, Ramon were with us. Rafa thinks I am mad at him but I’m only pretending to be. Arlette told me Charlie was there this morning. I went to the movies with Arlette and Monica this evening. There are a lot of officers around the ANC these days since the ships are in again.



August 17 - Friday

This afternoon mercy and I went to the ANC. Arno was there and though we’ve been bickering at each other these past 2 weeks, today he was very nice and different.



August 18 - Saturday

We were at the ANC again after morning classes. Mitch, Nacho, Rafa, Pichuco, Carlos G.G., Lita, Luli etc were there. We ate lunch there and later Luli, Pichuco, Ramon and I went to the McKinley Cemetery. It is such a lovely, serene and peaceful place. Later we drove around SLV looking for Marina and Carlos, neither of whom were home. We drove to the airport, then to Nacho’s house. We sat in Nacho’s room and chatted. Tita Carmen talked to me about Nena and gave me some of Nena’s dresses which Nena hadn’t worn and were brand new. Then we went to the airport again and back to the ANC. Rafa drives very well with so much ease and confidence. Every time he’d look at me through the rearview mirror, my heart would skip a beat. This evening Rafa and Pichuco came home while I got dressed and we waited for Lita to pick me up so that they could follow us to Cookie Perez-Rubio’s party. The party was much nicer than the one last year. Arno was as sweet as he’s ever been to me. No sarcastic looks. He danced with me a lot. Tony danced the second dance with me. And Carlos Garcia still makes my pulse beat faster than anyone else alive! I bumped into him a couple of times while dancing boogie. That guy thrills me so but it is all too no avail. Carlos Ortoll bugs me so much! Rafa took Mercy and me home. I think Juaco Campbell one of the nicest people around. I got a letter from Cosme today. I was so happy to receive it. It’s one of his sweetest letters so far.



August 19 - Sunday

I went to Mass at 11 with Mom then of course, where else - Later I went to the Rizal to see “Adventures of a Young Man” with Richard Beymer. Carlos was sitting behind us and as usual, I lost sight of everyone else. Tony was there too. We went back to the ANC and Mitch and Morris were there. I didn’t get a chance to talk to Morris since Mitch and company were with him. Later mercy, Arlette, Monica, Jan and I went to the Jai-Alai to watch Honey play pelota. I think Jai-Alai one of the most exciting games to watch and of course Honey looked so great on that court. Simply irresistible. There are many attractive pelotaris but Honey beats them all!



August 20 - Monday

After school this afternoon Mercy and I went to the ANC and Arno, Arlette, Monica, Mitch and Rafa were there. I had a nice lunch at Mercy’s house. George Gallent came over to pick Honey up. He smiled and said hello. Can’t blame Jan for being so nuts about him. I HATE Steno and Accounting. We have those detestable subjects tomorrow. I hate Tuesdays and Thursdays. Tito Werney was a little nasty this evening and I almost answered him back for making an unkind remark (about whom??) I am so restless these days. Everyone seems to get on my nerves - I’m dying to go on a long trip - maybe to Spain. Oh dreams, dreams.......

July 30 - August 11, 1962

July 30 - Monday


Margotin scared me out of my wits this morning when she told me that Sr. Andrea was out for my scalp for having so many absences. It just so happened that I missed my Theology class and Mercy just happened to skip it too. Tomorrow I’ll get my excuse slip and my knees are already weak at the thought of facing Sister Andrea. There’s been some magulu at school about girls cheating, stealing and making fun of other girls. We went to Sister Benjamin this afternoon and told her about it. Miss Zacarias asked me if I was going to see Miss Martinez off on Wednesday. She’s leaving for the States. I’ve given her a lot of headaches but she has been a grand Dramatics teacher and director. Arlette called me this afternoon the minute I got home. She wanted me to go to the ANC. She says Rafa had been there. I tried to sound like I didn’t care but as usual I’m not very good at hiding my feelings. I’m going to test my will power and not go to the ANC the whole week even if I know Rafa is going to be there. This evening I was listening to Rafa’s records and they are real dreamsville. One is the theme from “Parrish” and the other are 7 Italian songs which make one think of dancing by the moonlight. I haven’t touched my Accounting books so tomorrow will be a blue Tuesday.



July 31 - Tuesday

I feel very quiet and peaceful right now. I’ve just seen the movie “Lovers Must Learn” with Susanne Pleshette and Troy Donahue. Rome is the most enchanting, lovely, magnificent city in the world and someday, if at all possible, I am going to see it someday and if possible, before I’m 25. (And, I did, before my 21st birthday and four more times before I turned 25.) I will see Italy some day, I will!! This noon Mercy and I ate lunch at the Teucher’s. Arlette wanted to tell me who Rafa likes but I didn’t let her. I refuse to listen to any more gossip. Monica tried to bribe to go to the ANC but I didn’t go. I came home, did my Steno, and washed my hair. I listened to records and later went to the movies with Mom. And I did find out who Rafa likes - Monica. She’s walking in a daze these days. Fate it seems to have other plans for me, yet again.



August 1 - Wednesday

This week seems to be dragging by so slowly. It seems like 3 years till Sunday, not 3 days. Sister Benjamin gave the class a stern lecture this morning and everything she said was absolutely true. I cut my hair and the hairdresser cut it shorter than I wanted. I look like a 12 year old tomboy instead of 18 years old. I met Arlette and Monica at the Beauty Parlor and Monica cut her hair too. I don’t like the patronizing way Arlette and Monica look at me. I think its all about this Rafa thing. Mercy says that Arlette and Monica said I was jealous of them. Oh, for Pete’s sake! What hurt me was that Mercy agreed with Arlette and Monica. Mercy wasn’t feeling well and spend the whole afternoon asleep in the school clinic. I saw Entang del Prado, Ramon Arnaiz, Quito Moras and Litos Reynoso this afternoon at school. They were looking for Magu. Saw Maritoni this afternoon.



August 2 - Thursday

I spoke to Luli last night and she revived my spirits when she said that Rafa asked for me. This afternoon I did to go to the ANC (So much for my resolution!!). Rafa was there! I met 2 cousins of his who just arrived and found out that Rafa and Jay Jay Po are first cousins. I got my ID bracelet today. Mr. Cruz seems to dislike our class but when we finished classes I was practically the only one who said thank you and goodby to him (almost under my breath) and he said “You’re welcome” with a smile and a twinkle in his eye. (I was such a sucker for guys with “a twinkle in their eyes.” So corny!) Rafa does seem to be interested in Monica. Pichuco is still hopelessly smitten with Lita so we share our mutual woes.



August 3 - Friday

Mommy hasn’t been feeling well today. We (Mom and I) ate lunch at home together. This afternoon, after school, Mercy and I went to the ANC. Arlette, Monica, Nacho and Kate were there. Lita came later. I don’t know what was wrong with me but I got a sudden attack of the giggles. Arno arrived but was in an awfully bad mood and it became worse when Rafa, Javier and Carlos arrived. We listened to records in the Teen Den. I caught Arno looking at me several times. Rafa sat beside me and talked the whole afternoon. I think he got a letter from his girlfriend or something. He keeps telling me that I’m acting strange these days and that I have to have a talk with him. I could feel myself getting warm under the collar. Pichuco and Luli talked to me tonight over the phone.



August 4 - Saturday

I didn’t do so bad in my Steno and Accounting tests. I went to the ANC this morning at 11 with Mercy. The Gang was there. I went with Mom to the beauty parlor at 3 later we went to the ANC. Mom went to Tita Lol’s house and I stayed there. I didn’t really want to go to Marilen’s party but ended up going anyway. I went with Lita, Luli, Rafa, Pichuco, and Javier. The party was not very much fun. Even if my first and last dances were with Rafa and other times too but I just didn’t have a good time. I don’t like Carlos Ortoll too much. He’s to insistent and really a drag. Maricar Beliso gave me a dazzling smile and Luis Pertierra thinks I’m nuts about him. (Why not??!! I seemed to be nuts about every attractive guy around, then.)



August 5 - Sunday

Mommy wasn’t feeling too well so I went to Mass with Mercy at 9 at San Marcelino. I went to Communion and later we went to help Las Damas at their rummage sale. I went home for lunch and baked a cake this afternoon. At 5:30 I went to Arlette and Monica’s house for the gathering. It was sensational! I mean everyone was in such a happy mood. I danced a lot and Mercy and I simply glowed. Ditoy Atayde is so much nicer than I imagined. George gets handsomer every day and Tony was and is, as always, one of the nicest guys there. Rafa has me very confused and I wished Cosme had been there. It was a sensational day. Everyone’s a dear!



August 6 - Monday

Mercy and I talked of nothing else this morning but the party last night - mainly about Tony Ortigas. Mercy can’t stand Rafa and I don’t see why but I guess everyone has his own tastes. I had lunch in Mercy’s house. Honey is the sweetest I think. We saw Rafa on the way back to school this noon, at his house, buying ice cream for his kid sister from the vendor on the street. We went to the ANC after school and Arlette and Monica were just leaving. Rafa, Marina and the Ortoll brothers were there this evening. I went to see “A Pocket Full of Miracles” with Mom, Tita Marianne and Tito Werney. I got to thinking about Carlos Garcia a lot this evening.



August 7 - Tuesday

This afternoon, Mercy and I went to the ANC. Rafa, Arlette and Monica, Lita, Luli were there. Pichuco arrived a little later. Later, Rafa, Pichuco, Luli and I went to the swimming pool. We had a lovely time talking, laughing and teasing each other. Magu was also there with some other people. Carlos and Javier Ortoll joined us. After Rafa and Pichuco had their fill of swimming, we went back to the Sunset Lounge.



August 8 - Wednesday

Regular day in school. I ate lunch in Mercy’s house and our favorite topic of conversation - Tony Ortigas. I miss Cosme a lot and heaven knows why (Yeah, why??? I’m still wondering 40 eons later!)



August 9 - Thursday

Today was really “sweet Thursday.” Mercy ate lunch with me and later we went to the ANC. Everyone was there. Later, Mitch, Mercy, Lita and Monica went to eat bibinka somewhere and Luli, Rafa and I were left behind. We had a nice, pleasant conversation. Later we moved out to sit by the swimming pool. At about 6:30 pm, I was frantically looking for a ticket to go to see “El Cid.” Everyone was going - the whole Spanish community and specially since Rafa was going and I had a terrific hunch that Carlos would be there too. Well I finally went to A&M’s house. At 7:30 Gerardo called me up telling me he had a ticket. After a couple of breathless phone calls, Gerardo tells me, he’s got a free ticket for me - to hurry home and get dressed and the Lanuza car would pick me up to take me to the Rizal. I never got dressed so fast. I wore my white chiffon dress and just made it on time. I went with Juan, Dita and the other Lanuza sister and my hunch proved to be true. During intermission I met Pichuco and we went to the lobby and I see Nacho talking to the Ortoll brothers, Rafa and Carlos. Luis Pertierra etc. were also there. (Now here’s another event I remember distinctly. The premier of “El Cid” at the Rizal! I remember the dress, and I remember clearly stepping out into the lobby and seeing all the guys I adored all together in one big bundle. An embarrassment of riches for little old me!) Rafa and the Ortoll brothers came to say hello and later we sort of drifted over to Nacho, Leo and Carlos. I was pretty nervous and my pulses were racing, but not as fast as when Rafa talked to me and said, when Nacho said something a little nasty - “No te metas con Lea que esta muy mona esta noche.” (And silly me, still didn’t get the fact that they all still treated me like the cute little sister and we were all the same age!) I also saw Titos Ayesa and thought of Mercy. Rafa asked me if I was going to the ANC tomorrow and I told him I wasn’t sure. Mercy can’t stand him and many of the guys dislike him (Now I realize he had that haughty Spanish macho thing going and that’s why the guys didn’t like him, but who knew of these things then!) But I like him - I guess I like the guys that have a bit of “sinverguenza” in them.



August 10 - Friday

I was beaming all day today. I went to the ANC this afternoon and all the usual people were there except Rafa. He had a dinner party or something tonight, so Luli says. Mommy gave me a bag this evening. So pretty! What a sticky, humid, hot day!



August 11 - Saturday

Mr. Cruz was in a very black mood this morning but thank goodness he didn’t give us a test or I would’ve gotten absolutely zero. Mercy and I went to the ANC at 11. Everyone was there. Rafa at first ignored me but when I changed into my jeans, he came to talk and tried to convince me to go to the party at Jan’s house tonight. He, Ramon Arnaiz, etc. sure gave Mercy and I the big pitch including Freddy Franco over the phone. Believe me, I never wanted to go to a party so much since Rafa is going and Tony. Father John Pelliser is our retreat master and he’s very good. Tita Carmen Marti talked to me this morning about Nena and such. I really love that lady. I miss Nena too. She says Nena doesn’t want to come back here. Wait till I hightail myself over to Spain. So help me - before I’m 20, I’ll get there. (Ah, the Fickle Finger of Fate was waving in my face. I “got” to Spain before my 21st birthday and then just after my 24th, I “hightailed it” to Spain from New York and spent the next 8 plus years of my life there. But, that August, all I could do was dream...)

July 23 - 29, 1962

July 23 - Monday

I woke up thinking about Ana Maria’s wedding and Rafa. I wanted so terribly to go. My Theology, Typing and Business English exams went by glass smooth. I had lunch at Mercy’s house. Tita Lol was telling us about the wedding and that Rafa looked “muy guapo” as she put it. Mommy told me Nacho called up this noon asking for me. I found out from him later that he wanted me to go to the ANC and bowling at the Casino with him and Rafa. Am I EVER at the right place at the right time?!!! The Hi-Gayles have been asked to sing on TV on Friday. Betsy Arrastia is so nice!



July 24 - Tuesday

Mom had to stay at Tita Nena Viaplana’s house last night since all the streets were flooded. This afternoon, Luli picked me up from the house and we went to the ANC. (Boy, nor storms, typhoons, sickness or floods kept me from going to the ANC. Mailmen today don’t have half that dedication!) Luz and Nacho were there. Later Pichuco, Gerardo, Lita and dear Rafa arrived. (Obviously, my friends had the same dedication!) Lita sat with Tim and her cousin while the rest of us sat together. I almost went to the movie with Pichuco but on finding out Rafa was not going, I made an excuse not to go. Luli and I had a long talk this evening and I found out she likes Pichuco. We made a pact to help each other out and not tell another soul. I’m going to try to change Mercy’s mind about my liking Rafa. Tomorrow there is a cocktail, dinner dance at the Casino and Rafa is going. I really wish we were members of the Casino. Anyway, getting so carried away about Rafa is making me forget about Carlos, Tony, Arno, Mitch, and Morris. Yan could hand me all of them on a silver platter and I’d still pick Rafa. (Oh, puleeeeez!) I hope Sister Felix and Mr. Cruz did not give any tests today. I’ll die!!



July 25 - Wednesday

My exams in Spanish went pretty well as with Social Training. (What the heck was Social Training?!!) I talked to Father Trent, Mother Superior and Father Reuter today. They still want us to sing Friday but heaven knows - what?!! Tomorrow the Hi-Gayles (Margot, Margotin, Susan, and Betsy) will get together and work something out. ilusiones de los chinos......This afternoon I went to Mercy’s house and we talked half the night about Tony. I think I managed to get Rafa out of her mind yet I never know if I ever get to fool Mercy. She’s a smart cookie. The eternal rain has stopped and Arlette and Monica are back from Baguio. I know this is silly of me and I’ve never really felt jealous of anyone before but Rafa hasn’t seen them and they are mighty pretty girls. I know this inferiority complex of mind gets to me but what can I say?



July 26 - Thursday

My three exams today went pretty well. Of course except Accounting where I got 50%. Mercy and Betsy ate lunch at home. Arlette and Monica came home this afternoon and later we went to the ANC with Mercy. Luli, Pichuco and Rafa were there. Rafa was in a wonderful mood and I was simply beaming. Freddy and Rafy came later and they all kept teasing not that I minded. Ana Maria leaves tomorrow and I hope I can get to the airport to see her off.



July 27 - Friday

Well, since Luli and I had no way to get to the airport we went to the ANC instead. I got a little sunburned. Arlette, Monica and Lita were there. I hoped Rafa would come but he didn’t. (I found out later, he arrived a second after I left.) This afternoon we went to the ANC after school. Rafa, Pichuco, Luli, Arlette, Monica, Mercy, Arno, Gerardo and Marina were there. Rafa and Pichuco told us stories of their college days in Spain and they were a riot. Later we went to the pool area. I could feel Arno looking at me a couple of times. I hope he goes to the Falcons’ party tomorrow. We sang on television tonight and I think we sang horribly. Can I face the gang tomorrow? Man it was awful.



July 28 - Saturday

This morning we went to the ANC at 11. Rafa arrived right after we did. We talked about the party and Rafa said we would talk things over at the Casino this afternoon. I never got to the Casino and Luli called me up to say that neither she, Lita, Pichuco or Rafa. Of course, my high spirits hit the floor. I got dressed for the party anyway but Freddy’s car got stuck in the mud and he finally arrived to pick me up at 9 when I was ready to give up and get undressed. The party was lousy. Thank goodness, Arno, Tony, Eddie, Honey and Mitch were there. Tony didn’t dance once with me which disappointed me but he danced with Mercy and made her happy. Mitch danced with me but all the while I kept wishing Rafa had gone.



July 29 - Sunday

Went to Mass at 11 at Ermita and then the ANC. The whole gang was there. Rafa told me that he really wanted to go to the party last night but he had no way of getting there. If he had only known there was room in Eddie’s car he could’ve come with us. We went to the movies this afternoon. Rafa seemed to be interested in Monica and later I found out he tried to hold her hand. Later we all came home and had a small gathering. All went very nicely. Rafa danced a slow drag with me but he seems very interested in Arlette and Monica. Rafa asked me to take care of his records and said goodby with a warm handshake. Lita and Nacho got pretty “close” tonight. We went to Arlette’s house this evening and we four blabbed on about a lot of things.

July 14 - 22, 1962

July 14 - Saturday


The party for Arlette and Monica was a hit. My dress was so sweet - well, it fit me so well. All the boys we invited came to the party. (Two new girls from Europe were to our group of boys like honey to bees.) I was unusually happy to see Mitch, Morris and Tony. Everyone really ripped it up. Carlos thinks I am still nuts over him and gave me the most devastating smile. Mitch looked disgusted with me? And Tony was the nicest he’s ever been. He always makes a party nice for me. He danced with me boogie and slow. The last slow was “Tammy” by Ray Coniff and it was very sweet. Dancing with Tony is like dancing on some cloud. I find I like him more and more. Another sweet guy is Morris. But I think he had an awful time. Raffy and I dance a good boogie. I danced a lot tonight.

July 15 - Sunday

Arno was very nice this morning. I went to Mass with Mercy at 11 at Ermita and this afternoon we all went to the Rizal (with Arlette and Monica, the Hagedorns, Arno and Eddie). We saw Maricar who gave us the coldest stare. Arno and Eddie and Freddie came home this afternoon. We listened to records and ate popcorn. Eddie is so much fun and a real nice guy. I think he likes Monica. I caught Arno looking at me several times and this time there was no sarcasm in his look. Later we went to Arlette & Monica’s house. Everyone is being so nice lately.



July 16 - Monday - My 18th Birthday!

Tonight I got the surprise of my life when I go to Mercy’s house to pick her up for a movie and I find the whole gang had thrown a surprise party for me. They were all standing there in the dark and I stepped into the sala and they all came up and kissed me. I was so happy and touched and speechless. How, sweet, wonderful and just swell they are. Dear Mom organized the whole thing. It was all so lovely, the decorations, the presents and everyone was there. Tony and Arno were the first boys who came up to congratulate me. Tony danced with me 3 times and all the rest of the night with Mercy. Arno danced with me several times too. Every time he gets close to me I feel my spine tingling. He danced with Monica a lot. Morris came home to give me a box of chocolates. (I remember him coming to my house and giving me those chocolates.) Yan gave me a porcelain cat and Pichuco - the white carnations he promised. I wish Morris had gone to the party. I feel so lonely again tonight. I guess seeing Tony with Mercy and Arno with Monica put this lump in my throat again. I didn’t realize how much I feel for Arno and Tony. I play Big Sister to everyone and get nowhere myself. It was a wonderful birthday surprise and Mom and Dad gave me the most beautiful little wrist watch.



July 17 - Tuesday

Mercy and I spent the whole afternoon with Arlette and Monica. Monica tells me she likes Ramon Faustman. Arno called up to ask me if Eddie could call up to talk to me and ask me who Monica likes and I told him. Eddie and I talked for an hour and a half. We talked mostly about Arlette and Freddy.



July 18 - Wednesday

I don’t know how to begin my entry tonight because its been such an ordinary day. Mommy is quite hopeless as any time I mention some guy either she gets annoyed and changes the subject or acts like I was 14 instead of 18. She can make me so mad! If someone like Pichuco, or anyone, asks me for a date I’ll go and ask Dad. Agnes called me this evening to wish me a belated happy birthday. Eddie also called up to find out what Arlette said but I haven’t been able to get in touch with her because she went to the movies with her parents.



July 19 - Thursday

I can’t find my ball pen and I hope its in Mercy’s house. It really poured today. Margotin brought me home. Susan was in school today. It’s too bad she isn’t studying at SPCM. This afternoon I cleaned my room and closet. At last I can find things now. Arlette, Monica, Fred and Eddie went to Mercy’s house this afternoon. Eddie called me up again tonight. More talk about Arlette. I love the way he laughs. I hope Arlette doesn’t go to Baguio and we can get to Annie’s party on Saturday. I saw the pictures of Arlette and Monica’s party today. I look like a cow in them but there are 2 pictures of Carlos that I’d give my life to get. He’s dancing with Ginny of course, with that devilish grin and twinkle in his eye. (The picture of Carlos dancing with Ginny is the one I have here but I cut Ginny out of the picture then. I wish I hadn’t.) I asked Mercy if she could get it for me that it would be her birthday present to me but not to tell anyone. Tita Trining sent me a birthday present this noon (perfume) and a sweet note. I have a periodic test in Theology and Business English tomorrow.

(When I mention above about "the picture I have here" I mean that in the hard copy of these diaries which I printed out to bring to Manila in 2006 for my barkada, I included a whole collection of pictures at the end of my entries of 1964, to show where we were and what happened the years that followed.  I will try to download the pictures at the end of these postings but don't know if I will be successful.  Nov. 23, 2009.  Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day here in the US, so Happy Thanksgiving to any of you who may be reading this.)


July 20 - Friday

This minute it is taking every ounce of my will power not to throw something at someone. It’s incredible how mad my mother can make me and since I can’t shout back at her, its all pent up inside. This eternal rain is getting on my nerves and tomorrow I hope it’s a sunny day. At least I hope it doesn’t rain. I’d like to go to Annie’s party but I’m not even sure I’ve been invited so...Arlette and Monica left for Baguio today and they’re coming back on Sunday. I talked to Freddy for a while this noon and Nacho called to tell me that Rafa will be at the ANC tomorrow. God, what I wouldn’t give to go for a long trip away from Manila.



July 21 - Saturday

Magu picked me up to go to school this morning. We had a pleasant time talking to Mr. Cruz. He gave all those who went to school a plus 1 in the periodicals. I went to the ANC after class. Saw Rafa Perez after 3 and a half years in Spain and he has changed very much. He’s taller and I never noticed he has the warmest brown eyes. I talked to Arno this morning too and he was telling me about the new car he’s getting. This evening Mercy and I were ready to go to the Vampires party when the rain and wind and thunder and lightning started and we couldn’t leave since all the streets were flooded and Dad wouldn’t let me leave. Mercy came home and she’s going to spend the night at my house. We feel the party will be a lot of fun. Anyway, looking forward to seeing Rafa again tomorrow.



July 22 - Sunday

Mercy and I went Mass at school and later we came back home, changed and went to the ANC. Luli, Nacho, Pichuco, Rafa, Arno and Luz were all there. Rafa sat beside me and I think if I had a choice of all the boys I know, at this moment I’d choose Rafa. (Fickle little thing, wasn’t I?!) We all went to the Rizal, then the ANC then Mercy’s house. I wanted to go to Nomads but couldn’t. Exams tomorrow.

July 2 - 13, 1962

July 2 - Monday


Uneventful day at school. I’m at the I-don’t-feel-like-going-to-school mood again. I found my mind wandering off to Tony Ortigas tonight.



July 3 - Tuesday

Its been Blue Tuesday. Mr. Cruz made me more nervous than ever. Mom scolded me again for something which was not my fault. I have a terrific cold. Dad got sore because I did not watch his programs on TV. (And for this latter entry, I am so sorry 45 years later...I still watch news programs morning and evening now and anything I know my father would’ve been interested in. I would give anything to watch anything for him and with him again. How insensitive teenagers are!) Arlette and Monica arrive here in a week and I’m looking forward to it.



July 4 - Wednesday

It’s been a memorable “4th.” I felt so blue the whole day. Paqui, Quito and Ramon were at the ANC and some people became pretty spastic. This afternoon we had a teeny gathering at the Annex of the Party Room. Mitch came besides the usual people. Arno was there the whole day when he could’ve gone to a gathering at Ginny’s house. He danced boogie with me once and I guess I’m pretty nuts about him though I can’t figure out exactly why. I hope to skip Steno and Accounting tomorrow. I can’t bear an ordeal with that Mr. Cruz again, not to mention Sister Felix. I don’t feel up to anything and I need a change - to go somewhere away from my parents and Manila itself. (I should’ve been biting my tongue when I thought this. They say when the gods want to punish you, they grant you your wishes. I have certainly proved that to be so, so true!!) I feel trapped and sad, very dad. I love my parents their nagging is driving me crazy. I want to travel and see all the places that Mitch has seen.



July 5 - Thursday

My spirits are up a bit today. I skipped classes this morning since I had a splitting headache. Mr. Cruz and Sister Felix gave tests today a si que de buenas me he salvado. I cleaned my shoes, polished silver and wrote letters. This afternoon I went to try on two new dresses I’m having made and they both look terrific. I went to Mercy’s house later. Tita Lol like the dress I was wearing. Mercy and I danced and talked about Arno. Dad and I ate supper home alone. Talked with Beli over the phone for a minute. Arlette and Monica get here in 5 days. Mom gave me a lovely blue rosary.



July 6 - Friday

I ate lunch in Mercy’s house today. Sister Andrea is so sweet and not at all like the monster they told me she was. I’ve eaten like a horse today. Mercy and I are so much together, they’ll think we’re sisters. I began observing today, no wonder I had all those pimples. We have Mass at school tomorrow. I’m terrified of Steno class and Mr. Cruz. My stomach gets woozy just thinking about it. I wonder how Jack’s party is going to turn out tomorrow. I hope its better than some other parties lately.



July 7 - Saturday - Tony Ortigas’s birthday

Jack’s party this evening was very nice. Mercy did not go. I wore my new white dress and it fit very well. Mercy can make me so mad - she can be so willful! (That’s my Mers!) Arno looked very handsome tonight. We went with Gerardo, Pichuco and Carlos G.G. in Paqui’s car. I greeted Tony and wished him a h.b. Carlos Garcia sat right in front of me across the room with Ginny. I danced the best boogie with Rafi Urure and Arno but he has his eye on Beli, Marisa and Marilita, so forget any dances with him, gal. I went home with Marimil. The Diggers are a heck of a bunch of nice guys.



July 8 - Sunday

I went to Mass at Ermita at 11. Arno and co. were at the ANC this morning. Arno looked so attractive. I was right about Marisa, Marilita and Beli. That boy can make me so darned mad. Luz was trying to guess who I liked. (How could she when I didn’t know myself!!) I went to see “The Parent Trap” with Mom this afternoon.



July 9 - Monday

With all these chocolates, Pepsies, pastries and whatnot my pimples are acting up again. Oh great, right before Arlette and Monica’s arrival too. I’m very down in the dumps these days but I won’t bore myself by feeling sorry for myself again, at least not in this diary.



July 10 - Tuesday

I got another A- in Steno this morning and wasn’t nervous at all. I wonder who Mr. Cruz is going steady with?! I had lunch at Mercy’s house. Honey was with us since Mom ate at another table with the Ancients. (Ohmegod! I called my parents and aunts “ancients” when they were in their 40s!! Isn’t 60 the new 40 now?) Mercy and I went to the ANC this afternoon. I put on my bathing suit and sat at the swimming pool. Betsy Brewster was there for a while. I don’t like that girl very much but its vice-versa anyway. Charlie Armstrong was there. Man, is he a honey! He said hello and we talked for a minute. Pichuco, Lita, Luli, Gerardo and I sat in the Sunset Lounge. Jay-Jay Po was there for a while too. Arlette and Monica (Oh, that’s what the A & M party was about that I mentioned some entries earlier) are supposed to get here tomorrow. I’m dying to see them. Freddie France called tonight to see whether I was going to the airport tomorrow and what time the plane was landing......



July 11 - Wednesday

March 25, 1960 - Arlette and Monica left for Switzerland and today they’ve come back. Mercy, Honey, Chiqui, Albert, Mom and the Sarthous went to the airport. The girls have changed. Monica has grown both upwards and sideways and Arlette is as pretty as ever. They were both dressed in blue linen suites. Tomorrow we’re to see them again. I’m so happy they are back but man, here comes competition! We saw Mitch on the way home from the Boulevard. He is some doll! I can’t wait for the party on Saturday. I know nothing exciting will happen to ME but I think everyone else will have a wonderful time.



July 12 - Thursday

After almost two months, I saw Morris again. Tito Ramon drove down Taft Avenue past La Salle and there he was, standing waiting for a taxi. I leaned out the window and shouted his name as we drove by. He flashed that wonderful, familiar grin of his. This afternoon, Arlette, Monica, Mercy and I went to the ANC with Tita Marianne. Freddy came later and Pichuco, Nacho, etc. Lita, Luli. Later Freddy drove all through Agnes Street looking for Morris’s house but didn’t find it.



July 13 - Friday

I finally got to talk to Morris. Dad gave me his aunt’s number and I found out he lives there. He called me up tonight and we were talking about Baguio, etc. He says he will go tomorrow to the party. I’m so happy I’m bursting. This afternoon Lita picked me up for a shower at Pamen’s house for Ana Maria Perez. We came home at 8:30. I did not want to tell Lita Morris might be at the party tomorrow. I don’t know how she would react so better left unsaid. Besides he might not make it.

June 21 - July 1, 1962

June 21 - Thursday


This has been a blue Thursday. Dad has problems with some income tax pressures. Mom criticizes everything I do and says that if I don’t watch out and change I’ll turn out to be just like Dad. She nags every day and I get so tired of it. I love Daddy so I don’t care what Mom says. (Though, she was right about everything!!) I love her too but...I went to the ANC this afternoon. We’re giving Arno a party on Friday at the ANC. Cynthia Carreon was at the ANC. She tells me that Carlos likes Ginny. So, what’s new? I am so blue tonight.



June 22 - Friday

I was elected leader of the CSSI Class together with Betsy Arrastia. I am secretly pleased. I’m beginning to think more about Tony Ortigas. Come to think of it, he never fails to say hello and at a party, whenever he sees me sitting alone, he comes and sits by me and talks for a while and he’s always so nice and polite, not to mention that he’s so handsome. I went to the ANC after school with Mercy. Talked to Lita and Luli about Arno’s party. Went to Mercy’s house this evening. We were with George and Honey all night. (Now, that sounds like a perfect evening!) Honey is so very, very comfortable to be with. Every time I’m with him he gets nicer. And George Gallent is irresistible. He’s very frank and open and really something. He has a very disturbing way of looking at you and I think he’d be fun to go out with. (Mercy, if you ever read this, you’ll think this all a hoot! Ay, querida amiga, aquellos fueron los tiempos. Now, I know why Tita Tina always insisted that I liked George.) I’m beginning to feel older every day.



June 23 - Saturday

Same dull day as yesterday. Sure, school’s ok but my moods are so blue these days. Everything seems to go wrong. Even Dad didn’t like my hairdo. Honey is so considerate. He’s so sweet and kind to me. No other boy is so nice and I appreciate him so much for it. Cookie left for the US today. Tomorrow I might see Tony at the Rizal. In some way I hope I don’t see Carlos. What’s the use. I only realize how much I love him and how little he likes me.



June 24 - Sunday

Mercy and I went to Mass in school today at 7:30 then later we went to the ANC. Found out Pilina is engaged to Johnny Rocha. Lovely engagement ring! We went to the Rizal to see “The Inspector” with Stephen Boyd and Dolores Hart. Lovely but sad picture. Arno looked right by me and said hello to Lita. One of two things - either he really hates me or he didn’t recognize me. (I was pathetic at times....) I also learned something else (that I’ve been dreading to hear), Carlos not only is not interested in me but he thinks I’m not even worth thinking about. Mercy also wanted to tell me something that he told Tita Marina but I told her to skip it or I’d be even more hurt. Well, that’s what I get for falling for someone who’s never cared at all for me and me making a fool of myself. I’m not even mad at him, I’ll just try to forget it. What really hurts me is Arno - what on earth as gotten into him? Tonight Mom screamed at me again for some thing or other - I also had the worst stomach ache I’ve ever had. Lita and Mercy ate supper here. Lita and I cleared up some misunderstandings about Morris. At least, something’s cleared up. Funny, the only sweet, kind, wonderful guy I can think of at the moment is Honey.



June 25 - Monday

Sister Andrea (I adore her) went on a hem-ripping rampage this morning. Mercy and Betsy ran away from her but she caught them this afternoon. But, she didn’t rip their hems. She’s the greatest - strict but still the greatest. This afternoon I went to Mercy’s house to copy problems from Honey’s accounting book. Honey is so sweet and considerate. (They’re playing “Look For A Star” over the radio. I wonder where Bill is now?) He is the only guy who treats me civilly. A real great guy. Ditas told me that she saw Morris twice today and so did Honey.



June 26 - Tuesday - Arno’s birthday

I love Dramatics class. Miss Martinez is a good and interesting teacher and besides, I think the study of ancient plays of Greek and Rome is terribly fascinating. Danny Cruz, our steno instructor, makes my head spin. I get pretty confused every time he enters the classroom. Every time he says my name he makes it sound like music. (This is truly the corniest thing I’ve written in here! And, earlier, I called Danny Cruz brilliant. Good grief!) Once he sat on the edge of his desk which was right in front of mine and I got so rattled I couldn’t remember a single sign. (Another moment in time I remember distinctly and he did rattle me!) I think he’s terribly interesting. Mercy, Lita, Marina, Luli and I went to see “Gone With the Wind” (again!). It’s the best motion picture ever. I went to Bingo tonight with Lita, Luli, etc. We sat with Yan, his mother, his sister and Mitch. Mitch sat beside me and treated me to a pie-a-la-mode. (I remember this too! The pie-a-la-modes at the ANC were out of this world. I can almost taste them still!) He’s so much fun to be with. He’s never boring and so nice.



June 27 - Wednesday

We had Mass in the auditorium today as it was Mother Socorro’s feast day. We had no classes this afternoon. Mercy and I went to the ANC. Elisa, Ditas, and Mary Ann were there. Luli and Lita arrived later but they sat at another table with Marina. Ditas and I talked about Morris etc. Lita and Luli said that Mitch’s mother and Mrs. Carpenter were watching me closely last night when I was talking with Mitch. I do hope Honey, Mitch and George go on Saturday. I called Fritz and told him about it tonight. I wonder how it will all turn out.



June 28 - Thursday

Tonight is one of those I hate myself nights. (So, I won’t repeat it here because its actually boring.) Tomorrow is the party Luli, Lita, Mercy and I are giving for Arno. We baked the cake and talked with Mr. Duchstein this afternoon. I just hope it doesn’t rain. Sister Andrea is just wonderful. I love her. When I entered Steno class this morning, my knees were weak and my hands were shaking - gosh I said to myself. This is only Danny Cruz, your steno teacher, but every time he says my name and our eyes meet and I get more rattled than ever. Its weird how distracted and nervous I get anytime he’s near. Oh well, it must be some reaction to having a young male (not bad looking) teaching us. First time for us convent school girls. I’d better pass the class. I have to sing during Initiation and to think that he’ll be there looking at me - geez! Pichuco and Gerardo were acting pretty nuts this afternoon. Lita is so sweet at times. I hope Mitch goes tomorrow.



June 29 - Friday

I went to Mass with Mercy at 9 and then we went to the ANC. The other L’s were there. Arno arrived later and we knew he suspected something about the party. I like him so much.....We placed the icing on the cake this afternoon but it didn’t turn out so well so we didn’t bring it. The party this evening was sweet. I kissed Arno happy birthday and thank God he didn’t hear my heart then. He didn’t dance with me once (Ooooh, the ungrateful wretch!) I’m not going to pretend I don’t care because I do. One little dance would have made me so happy. My intuition again.....I kept saying I hoped that Mitch, Honey, George and Butch would come and they did. If it hadn’t been for them, the party would have been a flop for me. I wish Mitch wasn’t so sweet and kind and just plain wonderful. (If Mitch ever reads this, I will hear him howling with laughter all the way from Manila to Brooklyn!) I danced with him once and he was going to ask me again but Yan stepped in and beat him to it. Mitch is nuts about Nadia. Honey, George and Butch are great cheerer-uppers and even greater guys. Maricar broke with Freddie Franco. Everyone was so sweet tonight but Arno just lives on hurting me and does it intentionally. Mom scolded me again when I got home.



June 30 - Saturday

Our Initiation Day went very nicely. We had games, dancing and all sorts of other stuff. Mr. Cruz was the only eligible young male around and boy didn’t he know it!! We went to Gerardo Lanuza’s surprise party this evening. It was very pleasant and enjoyable. Arno danced with me 3 times. He’s still the best dancer I know and he knows it. Tony was his old teasing self. He made me laugh till my sides almost split. He danced with me twice. One boogie and one slow. The moment he danced with me, Arno started that meaningful teasing and joking. Tony brought us home in his car. Tony said he thought Mitch was my boyfriend. (I can hear Mitch laughing even louder.)





July 1 - Sunday

It’s been a pretty dull Sunday. After Mass I went to the ANC. The gang was there. Arno was so much nicer this morning. He has a way of looking at me as if he knows exactly what I’m thinking and knows that I know what he’s thinking. He can make me so furious at times and then he can make me so happy. Yan, Lita, Luli, Jan, Ditas and I went to Diary Queen. Paqui was at the ANC for a few minutes this afternoon. Jessica, Lesley, Jan and other members of his fan club were on cloud nine. Maricar insists on making her gathering on the 14th when we’ve already planned A. & M. party. (What the heck was an “A & M” party???)

June 14 - 20, 1962

June 14 - Thursday


I have the feeling I’m in a mine shaft, trapped and the dirt is beginning to loosen over me and slowly, little pelts drop and if I don’t get out in time and someone doesn’t come to help me, the whole mountain is going to cave in on me. (Good grief, Lea....que drama!) I have no ganas for anything except my studies (This latter sentence must be a wrong entry!) I want to go to the party on Saturday yet....Poor Dad has troubles with the business he had before he got sick and the BIR people keep hounding him and bills are piling up. (Ah, Dad, your daughter traveled that same road 40 years later!) Daddy comes home tired and discouraged and in a bad mood and Mom is tired because those blankety blank maids (the one we have now worries me a little) Oh why doesn’t Rita come back. Mom and Pop get into big arguments over nothing really and make me feel even more tired than I am. Oh, if only money DID grow on trees......



June 15 - Friday

Tonight I feel much better than I did last night. Richard Chamberlain in “Dr. Kildare” and “Bonanza” are the best TV shows on TV. I don’t have much to say tonight. I only hope we could get Mr. Cruz to teach Accounting instead of Sister Felix. She’s so boring. Mr. Cruz seems quite brilliant. (Good heavens, I actually called Danny Cruz “brilliant.” I mean he was nice, and attractive and easy on the eyes to a bunch of convent school girls, but he taught us STENO, for heavens sake!) Tomorrow is Cookie’s party and let’s see how this one turns out. Linda Villavicencio, Ofelia Obieta and Marilena Maralit were at school this afternoon.



June 16 - Saturday

Every time I come back home from one of Cookie’s party, my reaction is always the same - it was a great party - for everyone else! It’s true that Tony Ortigas and Luis Pertierra danced with me but....The first person I see when I walk in was his royal highness himself - Carlos. I completely ignored him, well, tried to anyway. We caught ourselves looking at each other a couple of times. I bumped into him twice while dancing and our hands touched and I got that electricity through me again. Did I just say a couple of entries back that I was over him?!! I hate him because I like so very, very much.



June 17 - Sunday

I woke up at 10:15 and didn’t make it to Mass. I went to the ANC late and saw Luz, Gonzalo and Pichuco. Ate lunch at a Chinese restaurant with Frank Teney and his wife and Mom and Dad. I stayed home all afternoon. We were late for Mass again because we were waiting for the new maid to arrive.



June 18 - Monday

(This entry completely baffles since I talk about Cookie’s party and I already have an entry for it on Saturday and this is a Monday so I can’t explain this weird discrepancy. I checked my actual diary again to see if I mixed up the dates when transcribing, but no, this is the way the entries go. Anyway, here is what I wrote....)

Cookie’s party this evening was quite a party. The Strads really packed a wallop. We got there at 8:15 and at first there were a few girls but no boys. Lita, Mercy, Margie, Ginny and I sat together. Carlos Garcia was there and I tried to pretend he wasn’t but many times while dancing I caught him looking at me! His attitude decidedly different tonight. He did not have that high and mighty look on his face. In fact, at the end of the party he smiled that devastating smile of his and he gave Mercy and I some Cokes. I am still nuts about him and no matter how much I tell myself I don’t care about him, the moment I see him, my heart tells me otherwise. Ginny is so nice and I don’t blame Carlos for liking her and vice-versa. Mercy was on some unknown cloud since Titos Ayesa was there and danced with her, as did Tony Ortigas. Paqui concentrated on Lita so she was on her own cloud as well. Everybody danced the night away to the music of paso-dobles to the “Madison.” We got home at 2:30 almost 3 with Tony Ortigas. It was a wonderful party but even more wonderful was the fact that Carlos was there. That smile he gave me was worth more than anything in the world to me.



June 19 - Tuesday

Mercy and I seem to be on some unknown planet. This afternoon she picked me up to go to the ANC with Honey. We kept recalling last night’s party. She thinks of nothing but Titos and me, well, who else, but of Carlos. Honey however is still the nicest guy around and I treat him like a brother. I’d trust Honey completely if necessary. (And, to this day, this is one of the true constants in my life - Honey Muniosguren. He is the brother I never had and I do trust him completely. In almost all the crisis in my life, he has been the truest of friends and always there for me.)



June 20 - Wednesday

This has probably been the HOTTEST day this year so far. I nearly suffocated. Oh, for the coolness of Baguio! Right now it’s pouring outside and hotter than ever. Even the rain can’t cool the air and I’m glad Mom has an air-conditioned room. (She did?!! I don’t remember.) Mercy and I went to Cookie’s house this pm to pick up my fan and bolero. We saw George Gallent in a taxi. We later went to the ANC for a while and Lita spent a little time with Lita and Luli. (Tita Lol combed my hair a different way and it looks pretty good.) We’re intending to have a gathering here at home (I hope) on Friday for Arno. Mercy went to the Teddy R. (??) Show tonight with George Gallent (Was this Mercy and George’s first “date?” Four years later, almost to the date, they were to become husband and wife!) I think I am leaving my giddy teen years behind, slowly. I don’t swoon over every cute guy I see, my tastes in dresses has changed and I seem to think differently. I’m still me but I am very conscious of the fact that I am turning 18 in about a month.

June 6 - 13, 1962

June 6 - Wednesday


Mercy and Betsy passed the St. Paul’s entrance exams. Sr. Andrea is a doll! She’s strict but sweet and says that Mercy, Betsy and I have “naughty” faces. I spent some time with Margotin this morning. Miss Zacarias is going to teach Spanish again. I went to the ANC for a while this noon. Lita and the gang were there. Carlos brought me home. He’s nice but still acting “remote.” Later I picked up Mercy and we went back to the ANC. The ususal people were there again. Yan gave me a little Japanese doll. Luli and Pichuco talked to me about Lita this evening. Pichuco is so in love with Lita and when I asked Luli she said that Lita has no feelings at all for Pichuco. Poor guy. I saw Maritoni and asked her about Joe and Titos Ayesa. I wish Cosme were here but he’d be mooning over Mercy.


June 7 - Thursday

I’ve got a splitting headache so I can’t concentrate very well. This afternoon I went with Mercy and Betsy to St. Scholastica to get their deposits back. Sr. Benjamin gave us a quiz on the library facilities this morning. I LOST CARLOS’S PICTURE!!! I looked into my wallet this afternoon and it wasn’t there. If I dropped it, I’ll kill myself and if someone took it from me, I’ll never forgive him or her. I loved that picture. I’ll never get another one like it. I talked to Marina and Pichuco over the phone but I am so depressed. I hope I find Carlos’s picture!!

June 8 - Friday

Mercy admitted to me this morning that Betsy took Carlos’s picture and that she has it. She also showed it to Tita Marina Asparren who was at her house today and Tita Marina put it in her purse to show it to Carlos and then she’ll give it back. But I told Mercy that I would never see that picture again. (Did I ever forgive Betsy and Mercy for that? That was a pretty rotten thing to do, knowing how I felt about the guy.) Well, it was nice to have it while I did. (Was I really that forgiving?!) This afternoon I was at Mercy’s house and spent a lot of time talking to Tita Marina. (And why didn’t I ask her about the bloody picture?) She so simpatica and not just because she’s Carlos’s aunt. Anyway, its obvious she adores her nephew. I told Mercy this afternoon that I had the feeling that I would see Morris soon and Yan told me that he saw Morris at temple and that he might be at the party tomorrow at their house. If he does go....of well, lets wait and see. I spoke to Nena over the phone. She left for Spain today. Mercy, Yan and I talked about Morris, Lita and me again. Everyone seems to agree that everything was all my fault. Well, I don’t know what fault they’re talking about because my conscience is pretty clear since I did nothing secretive or wrong in Baguio. (And it would be at least 2 years before any guy actually got to first base with me. That “honor” fell to....well, I’ll leave that for later. I still am convinced these lo many years that my girlfriends were a little “freer” with their boyfriends than I thought so when Morris paid all that attention to me, they couldn’t conceive that it was platonic. Thinking about it now, I don’t know whether I should be insulted or flattered.)



June 9 - Saturday

I stayed home the whole morning. This evening, Yan picked me up at 7:15 for Mitch’s gathering. He says he saw Morris at the Country Bake Shoppe and that Morris asked him for my phone number but Yan didn’t give it to him. Mitch looked simply yummy tonight. We teased each other a lot. Of all the guys there, he and Honey are my favorite. Butch, Honey and George were in a rare mood and made me laugh a lot. We played “Truth or Consequence” and involved a lot of slapping and kissing. Mitch danced with Cristina Alegre and he dances pretty well. Lita doesn’t know who she likes better, Peps or Morris and I also found that while in Baguio, Lita read my diary every night!!! Ok. That’s the limit! Not even my mother looks at my diary. She (Lita) talks a lot about not trusting me but she obviously wasn’t a little angel herself but se me quitan las ganas de escribir aqui ya que se que alguien lo ha leido. And Mercy, who says she’s my friend didn’t tell me. They can all go fly a kite. Now I hope I do see Morris again just to spite them all. For all I know, he did it just to spite Lita too. I am such a fool!


June 10 - Sunday

I keep getting the feeling that Morris is very close. (Mom and Dad are now having a terrific argument about some stupid thing about food!!) I went to Mass at 11 and then as usual to the ANC. The gang was there. Arno arrived later this afternoon. Yan picked us up to go to the Rizal to see a horrible picture called “The Mask.” Cookie Olondriz gave us invitations to her party. We went back to the ANC. Carlos is so sweet. Came back home early. I’m so fed up with Manila!

June 11 - Monday

Did nothing special this afternoon. Marina took us to school. Our uniforms weren’t ready but Mercy got her registration card. We went to the ANC. We had merienda with Yan, Ditas, etc. This evening Tita Marianne and Tito Werney picked us up and we went to the Polo Club. The Argentine cadets were visiting again. The cadet who was with me was quite cute but he wasn’t interesting to me at all. Too serious about everything and no sense of humor. Lita and Luli came home with us. Mercy saw Carlos but I missed him. Just as well. Tita Marina played mah-jong at home. She says Carlos won’t give her back the picture. Lita and I are almost on the same footing again. I like her very much and I’m so glad.


June 12 - Tuesday

Those darned maids tell poor Mom that they want to leave. I went to the ANC with Mercy after lunch. The Luneta and Dewey Boulevard were filled with people since we celebrated our new Independence Day today. This evening, I played Bingo with Mercy, Yan, Pichuco and Mom. Pichuco was so sweet tonight. I like him so much better than I did before. He promised to send me white carnations for my birthday. (Another moment I remember clearly - this conversation with Pichuco about white carnations.) He’s so nice. Lita shouldn’t be so heartless. Tomorrow is the first day of class. Poor Mom and Dad are beat.


June 13 - Wednesday

Golly, I’m tired. Every bone aches and I’ve this awful crick in my back. The first day of school wasn’t bad. The usual getting to know the subjects, teachers, etc. I got my uniforms, borrowed books, etc. First lesson in typing was fun and social training is interesting. Miss Zacarias’s Spanish class was ugh. Sr. Benjamin is scary and strict. Went to Alemars and the ANC after school. Mom says Luli and a Mexican cadet were looking for me for cocktails tonight. Mercy says Carlos won’t give back the picture but funny how I don’t really care. In fact I couldn’t care less if he got married and went away forever. (Who was I fooling then?! The irony of it all is that it was I who got married before anyone else in my barkada and left Manila to never live there again, but that’s another story.) I think I’m finally beginning to be over him.

My Great Expectations -

1) Of seeing Joe Avelino although heaven knows why when he and Maritoni are so engrossed with each other;

2) Of seeing that....well, Morris again and heaven knows why, too;

3) Of going to Cookie’s party (she called this evening).

I hope Rita (our maid) comes back and this rash on my face goes away before Saturday. Saw Father Reuter today and I still say I’m going to be married by him. (Oh my God, the one thing in this entire diary that DID come true!!) I’m finally wearing my uniform but I’m tying my ties too short.

May 29 - June 5, 1962

May 29 - Tuesday


I washed 3 sweaters of mine this morning and washed my hair. This evening I went to Bingo with my Mom. Luz, Luli, Lita, Arno, Carlos and Pichuco were there. Arno was his old self this evening. It’s too bad Mitch wasn’t there and Pichuco couldn’t stay. Carlos is very simpatico too, he made me laugh a lot. I won 60.00 pesos. I’m very sleepy.



May 30 - Wednesday

The heat is absolutely killing me. I feel so hot and sticky that my make-up smears and the pimples are coming out again. Oh for the wonderful climate of Baguio! I picked Mercy up and we went to Aunty Kitty’s for Karen’s address and then to the ANC. Carlos, Gerardo, Javi, Lita, Luz, Luli, Miren and I sat at one of the tables by the sea wall. Mercy and I had lunch at my house and later we went to see “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” with Audrey Hepburn and George Peppard. It was one of the sweetest, loveliest movies I’ve ever seen in a long time. Simply adorable. And its theme song “Moon River” is absolutely - everything! I hope to see this movie again. We went to the ANC later and later yet, Pichuco, Luz, Luli, Ramon, Mercy and I sat by the pool and chatted. Saw Arno. Talked with Ditas Hagedorn about Morris. She likes he a lot too. He is back in Baguio and is returning to Manila on Friday. I sure would like to see him again. Pichuco is nuts about Lita. I have to write to Angel, Cosme and Karen. Still haven’t seen Mitch.







May 31 - Thursday

Went to Mass late so had to repeat it. Mercy and I ate lunch together at the ANC. Luli and Lita also had lunch with us. Then we went to my house to change and went to Alemars. I bought a clipboard, a bottle of Desert Flower Spray Mist for Mom and a bottle of Blue Grass cologne for myself. Saw Linda Hinkley who just got back from Hong Kong. She saw Yan. Monchu asked me about Morris and Lita etc. so I told him the story. This evening Mercy and I talked about Morris and Lita and everything. All this is getting to be a strain on my nerves and I’m up to blow any minute. I still don’t see what Lita is so fired up about. She’s said to practically everyone that I “stole her boyfriend.” My eye! She wasn’t going steady with him and she vowed 2 times (before Morris asked me out) that she was never going to talk to him again and that she was going to concentrate on Peps. So now she comes up with this??!! Anyway, my conscience is clear so whatever else everyone else thinks..... Monchu says that Steve Golden told him he like me. How sweet. (And, who in the heck was Steve Golden???) Steve is a very nice guy. Tita Marina was so nice tonight. If only her nephew were half as nice to me too. (That’s Marina Asparren, Carlos Garcia’s aunt for those of you not in the loop.)



June 1 - Friday

It has been one of those days...Mom was sore because I went out this morning. Then I went to Metro Drug to buy mascara and later to the ANC. Lita was in the Beauty Shoppe. Lita went swimming and later she joined the rest of us. Jose Luis sat and chatted with me. Vicky knows about Morris too! Carlos G.G. was teasing me and I insisted that I liked Carlos GARCIA. This afternoon Magu was at the ANC and she’s going to St. Paul’s for college. Tomorrow I have to go to enroll. Monchu, Leslie, Nacho were at the ANC also. I’m so fed up with everyone. My mother’s wonderful and all that but she nags me too much. Dad keeps insisting I take a BA course in college and all I want is a secretarial course. (THIS must be the most embarrassing revelation that I’ve ever discovered while transcribing these diaries. I never realized how little ambition I had and that my Dad wanted more for me. And the only thing in my empty head were those silly guys. No wonder someone later told me that I was “shallow” - I WAS. Then. But, I was 17!! I don’t know why I’m getting riled up now as I transcribe this - I guess its one of those “the road not taken” moments...) Everyone thinks I “stole” Morris from Lita and there are so many chismes flying about I am absolutely sick about it all. I wish I were somewhere where I could be independent of my parents and meet an entirely new group of people. (Another truly dumb comment.) According to my mother, I will end up an absolute disaster and she keeps comparing me to Margie and what a perfect girl she is! Let me change the subject. I saw Betsy Brewster today and heard the song “El Paso” after 2 years. Coincidences are weird.



June 2 - Saturday

The undercurrent is getting stronger every day and if I I’m not careful I’m going to be swept along with it! This morning I went to school to enroll and I had to take an exam. I ordered my uniforms and heavens, are they long! I went to the ANC and the whole clan was there. I was with Arno and his parents. This afternoon I invited him and Mercy to the movie “Rear Window.” This evening Mercy and I went to the Faustman home. The party was very nice. I danced with Arno, Carlos, Ramon, Inaki and Victor. Carlos gets nicer every day. He’s very sweet and has a nice smile. Arno danced with me a lot and when he danced slow drag with me (after 3 years!), that old feeling crept in. He’s so wonderful, sweet, gentle, and I hate him! I hate him because I like him so much and I know he’s being extra nice to me so he can suddenly leave me out in the cold, so he can get back at me to “avenge” Lita (And maybe for his own avenging, too. Gosh, we would’ve all been great “Survivor” contestants!) I know this is true because at the end of the evening, he had a whole whispering session with Lita, which entailed a lot of looks from both of them, at me. I think Luz also likes Carlos because when I was talking with him, Luz gave me a look that would have wilted a flower. Lita must have given Gerardo the sad story too. I am so fed up. Why didn’t she just put out a news bulletin! So, maybe I WAS beaming when I walked passed them all with Morris at the Baguio Country Club but so would have any one of them. Lita confuses me. She says she doesn’t give a hoot about Morris but she says that I knew about her wanting to go back to Morris and that I stole him. She swore to me several times before I started to see Morris that she didn’t want to have anything to do with him - ever! And the next day I walk by with Morris and she goes nuts. So, now we have Arno playing I’ll-defend-you-and-get-back-at-Lea. I think he’s getting back for himself!! Anyway, they can all fly a kite. I like Arno very much and he can try to hurt me but I won’t let him and if they want to play dirty, let them! Morris was right about everything! I did end up losing, while he’s scot free.



June 3 - Sunday

I went to Mass at 11 this morning and then to the ANC. Lit, Luli, Luz, Javi, Carlos, Pichuco and Gerardo were sitting at the pool. The boys all said hello but got only a feeble hi from the girls, She didn’t say a single word to me the whole morning. Arno was in a sarcastic mood this morning. Carlos was singing the whole time much to the exasperation of Luli. Jay Jay Po was there this noon and he gave me the warmest smile. I went to Mercy’s house this afternoon. Honey was there. I like him very much. He makes me feel as if nothing could ever harm me when he’s around. I got this same feeling with Morris. I went back to the ANC at 5 and sat with Ramon and Pichuco, Luz, and Carlos and Gerardo at the pool. Carlos is such a nice guy. Pichuco is nuts over Lita and I think its all in vain. Bomber came to talk to Pichuco and he gave me a look and a smile that made my heart turn over.



June 4 - Monday

I went to school this morning and I saw Magu, Margot Pimentel, etc. Sister Andrea did not have the results of my entrance exam yet so I’ll have to go back tomorrow with Mercy and Betsy Arrastia, who want to take a secretarial course at St. Paul’s. I hope they make it. I went to the ANC and spent the morning with Nacho, Carlos F., Arthur F., Gerardo etc. This afternoon I picked up Mercy and we went back to the ANC. Topsy joined us as did Ditas and Jessica Hagedorn. Jose Luis arrived later and also Gerardo and Carlos G.G. He couldn’t stay because they had someplace to go but asked me if I was going to be at the ANC tomorrow. How sweet of him and when he left he said “Adios carino.” Pitik-pitak. I talked to Pichuco tonight about Lita and she seems to have given him a very cold shoulder. He asked me my honest opinion and I told him it was a lost cause. I went to Di Marks with the Parents this evening. Had a pizza and ravioli. Carlos G.G. is so sweet. (Who in the heck was Carlos G.G.???)



June 5 - Tuesday

Betsy and Mercy took the entrance exams and Sister Andrea said I passed the exams and am officially accepted into college. I saw Sr. Chantal, Miss Jusi, Mrs. Patag and Miss Ocampo. I do hope Mercy and Betsy pass the exams and come to St. Paul’s too. This afternoon I went to the ANC but before I go into that, when we to the ANC this morning we got the coldest reception from Luli, Lita etc. I think Lita told Carlos about you-know-who because even he was a little cold too. Arno talked with us a while. I think Arno has the crazy idea he owns me. He acts like it. Yan, Mitch, Honey were at the ANC this afternoon too. Yan says he has a little doll for me. I sat with him, Mitch, Honey and Pichuco. Mercy sat with Betsy, Chiqui and Albert. Lita, Luli, Luz, Gerardo sat at another table. (Methinks that I sat with the best bunch that afternoon!) Mitch is a lot of fun and very nice to be with. He and Honey are a pair of happy boasters and they make one laugh a lot. Yan is the sweetest too. Mitch invited us to a party a his house on Saturday. He also brought me home. Honey is such a sweetheart. (Today, he would be the original Mr. McDreamy, or would I attribute that to Carlos Garcia!?) George came to Mercy’s house just as I was leaving. Lita almost called me a piece of you-know-what this evening (this, from Mercy) and Mitch doesn’t like Morris too much. He’s probably right about him. I hope Carlos doesn’t think less of me on account of what Lita has been spreading around. Oh, if Morris only knew what havoc our innocent little Baguio “adventure” has caused. Actually I think he does. I like Lita so much as a friend and all this trouble all for some guy who’s not worth the trouble.

May 18 - 28, 1962

May 18 - Friday - Baguio


Morris picked me up this morning at 10 and we went to his home. I met his mother and cousin. It was a very delightful morning simply because Morris was there. Susie, his sister, called Mom and asked if I could eat lunch with them and miracle of miracles, she let me. Morris’s dad asked me to ask my dad if he remembers him. Morris drove me home at 1:30 pm like he promised Mom. Every day I am more attracted to him. I like his sense of humor and yet he has his serious side too. He is going to Manila to study which makes me very happy but there are a lot of girls in Manila who are much more attractive than me and maybe its goodbye Morris but I’ll always remember a wonderful guy who made this summer special. I went to the Country Club this afternoon. The gang was playing bowling. The thundercloud over Lita’s head is slowly disappearing but the cold wind still blows. I played some games with the rest of the teeners in the Teenage Room. The Ismael children are so nice especially Rosarie. They brought us home. Tony Carreon came up this evening with 3 friends. Katrin and Marybeth Ubago. Katrin has changed immensely. Brent graduation today.



May 19 - Saturday - Baguio

Morris called tonight while I was playing Black Jack with the rest of the Legarda family and since Juan Antonio was teasing me, I was laughing and not paying attention to Morris and he hung up on me or rather said goodbye rather briskly. I was so sorry. I hope he isn’t angry with me. I like him too much. I wish I could’ve gone out with him tonight but Dad isn’t here and Mom isn’t exactly on my side. I hope with all my heart I see him tomorrow and can explain my phone actions to him. This morning, all the little girls (Carmita Legarda Carreon’s little girls - in other words my cousins little girls) had a ball playing with me. Children are just wonderful. This afternoon we went to Tita Bombona’s house for a merienda-dinner for Bombonette whose birthday it was today. There was a very nice young American guy there. He had the most fantastic blue eyes. Tony Carreon says that he’s the kind of young man I should go after. Easier said than done. His name is Charlie. Tuvo que ser! I have a funny feeling I’m not going to get any more calls from Morris and that deep down inside he’s still nuts over Lita.



May 20 - Sunday - Baguio

Just before Mass this morning Morris called up asking me what I was going to do for the day. I told him I was going to Mass late so he told me he would call back this afternoon. Mom and I went to Mass at 10:30 with Beniting and when we came back, Tito Ben had already arrived. Allan and I ate lunch together in the kitchen because the long dining room table was already filled with people. This afternoon Morris called up and later picked me up. We went for a drive to the Country Club, Camp John Hay and all around Baguio. We stopped for a bite to eat at the Chocolate House and we met Sonny there. It’s been a lovely day and a magic fair tale like evening. The moon was like a shining silver dollar. (And I remember this evening so clearly, all these 40 plus years later. In fact I remember this whole Baguio trip distinctly - even more than I wrote in this diary. Baguio was always a special place to me.) The sky was a lovely rosy-navy blue and the moonbeams cast a silvery sheen on everything around us. Tito Ben took us to Mine View Park and there we saw all the mountains and valleys with the gold mines all bathed in the silvery reflection of the moon. I wished Morris had been with me to see it. We later stopped at the Country Club for a minute and I saw and said hello to Mari Valles’s mother. I’ll never forget this lovely night as long as I live. (And, I never have - it was a lovely moment in time of my life.) Morris is such a dear!



April 21 - Monday - Baguio

I talked with Morris over the phone for a long time and we had a pleasant delightful chat. He’s so funny at times yet so sensible. He’s got a pretty good philosophy of life. I like him for his sense of humor, good manners (especially concerning my mother), he keeps his word, so far. He’s got his faults too but why mention the dreary things of life. This afternoon, the French Ambassador had lunch with us and then Mom and I went to look for Tita Lolita at their house and at the Country Club but no sign of them. Later this afternoon the phone rang and it was Lita saying that they were leaving tomorrow for Manila and that she wanted her sweater back. Finally, we decided to have her come for it tomorrow. While we were talking about the sweater, her voice still had that cold, impersonal note and it makes me so sad to hear her talk like that. I like Lita too much. I later spoke to Mercy who I missed. She said Maricar is here with the Whirlpools and Peps and that Lita spent time with Peps and Maricar. When I teasingly told Mercy to ask Maricar if I could join them, I hear a burst of laughter from Lita and Maricar in the background and Maricar tells me “Quedate con tu Morris.” This hurt me immensely. I can just imagine what they must think. Well, my conscience is quite clear and if Lita wants to make a big production out of nothing that’s her business. I, for one, think its all pretty silly. I like Lita a lot and I don’t want something as absurd as this to end our friendship.



May 22 - Tuesday - Baguio

Mom and I went to Sky View to say goodbye to the girls and Tita Lol and give Lita back her sweater. Mercy could not stay with me because she already had gotten her ticket. Lita was not cool and impersonal anymore yet there was still something going on. We bought Katrina a hair band and I saw Vicky Perez. This noon, we ate at Tita Bombona’s home with the French embassador and I never ate such a delicious and lovely lunch with such good wine. It was marvelous as Tita Bombona cooks superbly. I went to the Country Club and I spent the time with Pinky Winternitz, Rosarie, Nena, Ricky Ismael and others. Maricar came we arrived and we spent the afternoon talking about Maricar’s favorite topic Tony Ortigas. She still loves him a lot although she is at present preoccupied with Freddy Franco. I spoke with Morris over the phone tonight and he said that Lita told Vicky when inquiring about Morris over the phone tonight - “Guess whose got him now?” Nasty remarks like that really burn me up. (Heck, I’m amazed anyone at that time ever thought I “got” anyone!”) In the first place, I haven’t “got” Morris and we are just good friends so why does everyone keep trying to make it something nasty when its so innocent?! (Now, these many, many years later, I tend to think that when my friends were going “steady” with a guy then, that a little more went on than a mere holding of hands (and this is only an assumption since no one has ever confessed to me, to this day, that it went any further), which is as far as I went, and not even that. I was the original Miss Prim and Proper so I guess everyone thought that Morris’s attentions extended to more than a drive around Baguio. If they had known my mother (and they did), they’d realize that I wouldn’t have dared anything else. My mind truly never went beyond that Invisible Line that Mom and the nuns had indelibly seared in my chaste little soul.) I think everyone is going to make suffer for the attention Morris has given me and vice versa. My only hope is that Morris is not being “nice” to me to get back at Lita. I am now in a hurry to get to Manila to quell rumors that aren’t true but I don’t think I am going to be able to change anyone’s mind if they think the worse. Whatever the worse is???



May 23 - Wednesday

I went with Maricar and Vicky to the market where Maricar bought a rind and I bought ciriguelas. I mailed a letter to Mercy at the Post Office this afternoon. Mom went to play mah-jong at the Prieto house and I stayed home. This evening my hair was at its best. Not one visible pimple on my face and I didn’t have too much make up on yet my face looked perfect. Despite all that I didn’t make it to Susie’s play because Mom came back too late and there was no one who could take me. I told Morris I would be going with my Mom and aunt so I couldn’t ask him to take me at such late notice. What really burned me up is that I looked so good and had no where to go. Story of my life. I prayed the rosary with Carmita’s little girls tonight.





May 24 - Thursday - Baguio

Morris called this morning at 10:30 inviting me to have lunch at his home but I told him I couldn’t go so he told me he’d call back this afternoon. Maricar called up asking me what I was going to do and I told her I had nothing to do so she said she was going to the Country Club. Morris called up inviting me to a movie but Mom didn’t let me go (See what I mean? My mother kept me on a very, very short, tight leash!) So, he said he’d call back again. He finally called back and said he was coming over for a while so we could be together and chat. I was so nervous and happy at the thought of seeing him. He came with Sonny and we sat in Tita Trining’s second floor sala. Tonight, I like him more than I ever have. Tomorrow he leaves for Manila with Sonny and I’d give anything to go back to Manila too. I miss the gang terribly but its not going to be quite the same, for many reasons. I think I may be a little in love with him. Hey, just noticed today is Thursday!



May 25 - Friday - Baguio

I miss Morris already. Funny how you get to like someone yet don’t realize it until that person is gone. I’m so glad I’m leaving for Manila on Sunday. I only wish I could take Baguio’s climate with me because they say Manila is sizzling hot. I went to see “King of Kings” with Mom and Georgina this afternoon. The picture was nice but I wasn’t completely convinced with Jeffrey Hunter’s portrayal of Jesus. I miss the gang and Morris.



May 26 - Saturday - Baguio

Well, this is my last night in Baguio. I’m so sad and even a little misty-eyed at the thought of leaving. I’m leaving a lovely city, a beautiful climate, this friendly Legarda home, the sweet little girls - Katrin, Terelen, Paypay, and my darling Rosemarie, whom I adore. I will miss the rosary sessions and the memory of 3 lovely weeks with a guy who was very nice and wonderful to me. Here I feel at peace with the world with no worries and cares. Now I have to go back to the heat and Manila. I WILL return here soon if it kills me. I’m listening to Joni James sing “There Must Be A Way” on the radio. I finally won Rosemarie over and she gave me a package of M&M’s. Beniting and I went to see the Barangay Dance Troup at St. Louis School this evening. It was very entertaining. I wonder what the gang is doing? They’re playing Morris’s favorite “I’ll Be Seeing You” over the radio. I miss him terribly and I feel so sad tonight. I sure will miss the little girls.



May 27 - Sunday

Phew, here I am back home in hot Manila. I miss Baguio already especially that lovely weather, clean air, uncrowded streets and generally peaceful atmosphere. I talked to Mercy mostly about Morris and Lita. She made me realize I was being pretty snobbish and Lita is very sensitive. So I guess I didn’t think very clearly and took the chance that Morris was attentive to me and I hurt Lita without really meaning to. But I miss Morris and he was so wonderful and its all so complicated. Sometimes I hope I never see him again so no more heartaches either for me or Lita. Oh, that Morris! (I may find out differently as I continue this but I think I get my wish - I really don’t see him again.....) I spoke to Lita also and she has a lot to tell me tomorrow at the ANC. She said she saw Morris yesterday in his car. I received letters from Cosme and my uncle Carlos. Cosme is still his very wonderful old self. I wish he were here. I like the way he ended the letter - “To the small girl with the pretty eyes, I bid goodbye ‘till soon.” Wasn’t that sweet of him?! (Actually, it was. Cosme was always good with words - in my “slam” book in 1960, he wrote - “Lea, you are the salt of the earth” - What he meant at the time, I don’t know, but I liked it.)





May 28 - Monday

Dad and I picked up Mercy and he dropped us off at the ANC. Arno, Belen, Jose Luis, Javi and Gerardo were there. Lita must have told Arno about Morris and me because he was a little cold and not his old teasing self and making it a point to direct most of his conversation to Lita. Later, the subject of Baguio came up and that unpleasantness came up again but it passed. I like Arno so much so it makes me so mad that he’s reacting this way but what can I do? Mercy ate lunch with me and Dad brought us back to the ANC at 3 pm. Lita, Luli, Luz, Mercy and I were sitting together. Ramon, Gerardo, Nacho, Javi etc. were there too. I later went to Mercy’s house and we had a long chat about Morris and Mitch. Despite all our differences in opinion, Mercy is still my best friend. I’ve gone through all of my teen years with her and we’ve shared many experiences together. I like her very much. Honey was simply irresistible tonight and there are moments when I feel like throwing my arms around him and kissing him. (Gosh, I’ve never WRITTEN that down about anyone else! Anyway, now, a zillion life times later, Honey Muniosguren was, is and always will be my real first love and, more importantly, a constant and true friend.) I saw Fr. Reuter and Joe Avelino on TV tonight.